I Want Someone To Love Me.just recently I have felt so alone. I have a few friends, but not that many, and I haven't been getting along well with my parents. I have some other things going on in my life and I just don't feel like I have it all together. Its not that i'm really isolated or anything, but i don't really have anyone close in my life. I want someone to love me, so i feel like i matter to someone, because it just seems like no one cares. i need to feel accepted, and part of something, or someones life. i want to know like theres a point to everything i've gone through.
i'm a girl. i'm almost 16. i'm tall, skinny and i have straight blond hair. i'm an athlete. i'm smart, but thats all people ever notice about me, and i actually have a great personality but people don't really notice. i have a few friends, but only one person who i'm all that close to that i've known since i was little. i don't have a boyfriend and i've never fallen in love with anyone. i just feel so lonely right now cuz my best friend is going to prom with one of her friends, hes a junior and we're both sophomores, and i know its silly and i don't know too many sophomores who are going but i feel left out sorta. i've listened to her talk for weeks about it, and i'm happy for her but knowing full well that i wasn't going with her. i feel like worthless, pointless, like no one cares about me.
theres this other thing too. a few years ago i had this freak surgery on my leg and now i have this weird scar. its huge, obvious, and awkward. i feel so ugly. my mom says im pretty but i don't think shes right. i look at my face and its covered in freckles from when i was younger and i don't know how to get rid of them. my face is kinda pretty but my nose is huge and kinda lumpy at the top. i might have broken it once in soccer, but it might just be that way i don't remember. i'm like halfway pretty. i have an ok body, like i said im skinny and i'm in shape, but there are all those random deformities, especially the scar which is about 10 inches long up my thigh and i don't even feel like a real human. i haven't worn shorts in a long time because i feel so ugly. its just sometimes i feel like no one could love me because of all of that but at the same time its just not fair, that i deserve to be pretty, and for someone to care about me, but i just barely fell short.
look at me. i'm crying now. how pathetic. i feel so weak and worthless just sitting here sobbing, and that makes me feel even worse. i guess it makes me feel a tiny bit better though to just get it all out, so there you go. maybe someone can help me. if anyone even cares.
please. someone answer. i don't know how much longer i can do this. i feel like a ghost, like in those movies where they don't know their dead and they just exist, and go on with their life but no one notices or cares. I want someone to care about me.