Gdammit

Today I felt kind of lonely so I rode my bike nowhere and ended up going to my ex girlfriends house, she moved out years ago but I sat outside anyway, it was empty again. I had a cigarette and just looked at it.

I missed her smile, her laugh, her stupid ******* music, her stupid jokes.

I missed her body, she had such a great body, she was the most sexual woman I ever met, she had beautiful round hips and a tiny waist, and a gorgeous back that tapered up to her shoulders so perfectly, like an artist had sculpted her..

I missed her pure white skin. I miss her stupid fake beautiful boobs and her little shoulders and her slender little neck.

I missed her ******* golden freaking beautiful hair and her face, she had the most beautiful face, someone as ugly as me should never had had a girl with a face like hers. I learned my lesson on that one.

I missed her dirty dirty mind. I never met anyone with a dirtier mind then hers, she was obsessed with being dirty and I thought I was about as dirty as they come but she showed me.

I missed her smell, I could breathe her in all night, she has some ridiculous pheromone thing going on that was addictive and impossible to resist.

I missed her little hands. I used to lay in bed with her and hold her hand while she was asleep and listen to her breathing and try to stay awake as long as possible so I didn't wake up and have to deal with all the loathing I had for what she did when I wasn't around.

She was the only person I ever told every single secret, even the dark dark ones I thought I could never tell I told to her and she did the same with her secrets. She had the most terrible secrets, they sort of traumatized me. I knew I could trust her with mine and I could, even though I couldn't trust her with other guys or even girls.

So then I rode home in the rain and that was that. Was a pretty **** ride.
deleted deleted
26-30
3 Responses Dec 15, 2012

<p>I love how you are able to articulate your experience. You write so well, and are able to bring the reader into your world to experience this with you. So now, we were all there with you on your bike ride. You weren't ever really alone. *hugs* =)</p>

Is she the mother

I know how you feel and it sucks, I'm sorry. But it sounds like you might have broken up for a good reason... trust in any relationship is paramount. You'll find someone again and replace all those bittersweet memories with new and improved ones, I'm sure of it.