36 Years LaterI met my husband 36 years ago in April. We dated for about 5 months and I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Two months later I was married with a baby on the way and a husband I thought loved me. I was only 17 at the time and he was my only serious relationship, so I really didn't know what love was at that time. I slowly began to realize all I was to him was something to show off to his friends to make them jealous and someone to have sex with on a regular basis without having to go look for it. I also soon learned he was an alcholic and he would not talk about it because he didn't have a problem. Only this problem he didn't have affected me a lot. He physically abused me everytime he got drunk.
Now he has health issues that make sex impossible for him and I have done a lot of thinking, I now know that he never really loved me. He just needed me. He won't even touch me anymore. I am still the same loving and caring person I was when we got married. I have loved my husband through all these years and still do but the love is not returned. It is killing me inside. He won't touch me, hold me, kiss me and even just give me a quick hug. I feel so alone and unhappy.
I hope to someday find a man who will love me with all his heart and make me feel so alive again. Someone who would enjoy doing things with me. I have missed out on soo much in my life already and I would love to do some things before I get too old to enjoy them. I am pretty simple and should be very easy for any man to please. I have never lived in a fancy house, or driven fancy cars, never had expensive jewlery, never even been to a fancy restaurant. Of course I don't need any of these to prove that I am loved. I just need someone who will talk to me like I am a human being, in a civil voice and paying attention to me and not the TV. I am soo tired of being yelled at and ignored. I want someone who would enjoy just spending time holding and hugging me. I would love to have someone who would enjoy kissing me and of course, making love to me. He could be the poorest person in the world, as long as he could love me and treat me like I am human.
I don't ask for much, I just need for him to make me his entire world. I want to find someone who will love me for who I am. I need to regain my self esteen and self confidence again. I lost those several years ago and would so love to have them back. So my Knight In Shining Armor will be someone who can simply take care of my basic needs and in return he will be treated like a King. My KING!!!!!
teri58 51-55, F 5 Responses 2 Oct 23, 2011