******* For The Man In The Hotel Lobby, Part Three

So let me fall, let me love you
Let me free your inner child
Let me sit inside your silence
Let me ease the hurt you hide
‘Cuz I’m alive, I’m unlucky
I’m a line too fine to trace
But I could be your consolation
If you’d be my saving grace

~ My Saving Grace, André Tanneberger (ATB)

If I had a nickel for every man who has said to me that he no longer enjoys sex with his wife because she seems to do it simply as a duty, that his pleasure is dependent on hers, I'd be able to afford my children's university tuition no sweat. It's that common a thing, this despair that men feel about their mate's lack of love for them.

Yes, I said love.  Make no mistake; I equate sex with love.  That is not to say that undoubtedly there aren't those who engage in sex without love.  They are damaged people in my judgement.  The ones that D.H. Lawrence wrote of in his examination of ************ as an empty act, those who seek release without the exchange of energy from another person.  It's akin to just taking a crap when they ****.  A physical act to satisfy a need, but one devoid of emotion. 

But love between a man and a woman, the sort that results in weddings, should include sex.  Often.  I know that many couples have differing sex drive, and sometimes people don't align, but truly loving someone includes ******* them with gusto.  Allowing them to own your heart.  And your *****.  Or your ****, as it happens.

I know you're probably thinking, "hold on, Milky, aren't you married?  Why are you ******* other men online instead of doing your own husband?"  Trust me, I've tried.  But the man isn't that into sex any more.  And he granted me a hall pass, and I am using it.  Because I have a real need to love someone.  And the someones I've chosen to love are men who have that need, too.  It's not just sex for them.  At least that's what I tell myself.


Him‬: you tell your girlfriend exactly how you came this morning 
everything you did
and what I made you do M
promise?

me‬: promise
Him‬: perfect
breathe btw
you are in need of air

‪me‬: no joke 
i am the stupidest woman on earth

Him‬: what?
‪me‬: I keep forgetting to take in oxygen
Him‬: smiles
multitasking

‪me‬: you make me forget basic functions
Him‬: your **** takes over
your entire body

‪me‬: it does
it's a powerful furry little beast

Him‬: mmmmm
you feel better

me‬: a ton, yes
remind me to send a thank you note
to the man who urged me to join collarme

Him‬: will do
me‬: you can't get off, can you?
you're in the lobby?

‪Him‬: no
in the lobby
too many here

‪me‬: one of these days...
you need to let me take care of you

Him‬: baby you do and have
not to worry

me‬: you know what that does to me, right?
that whole attitude of yours?

Him‬: what attitude?
me‬: the reassuring one
the one that says I'm doing okay
the one that says you're fine 
that one

Him‬: well I hope it reassures you
yes?

‪me‬: yes
and then some
you just make me happy
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
Jan 19, 2013