Falling To Pieces

Things went from day to night in a matter of a day... I'm at a lost right now and Feel like I have noone to turn to. I left him Last night I couldn't take the abuse anymore. The Emotional shambles I was in.. Always belittleing me.. Sometimes even hiting me.. I was so ashamed and had noone to Comfort me Still I have held my head high and I am being as strong as I know how to be... It is difficult My son needs me to be strong but I just don't know how to be right Now. Please someone who's been where I am who knows the pain I'm going through Talk to me give me some advise.
matthewsmommy matthewsmommy
18-21, F
8 Responses Jul 31, 2010

mathewsmommy,<br />
<br />
How are you doing, Lady? Would appreciate an update on you! <br />
<br />
Praying you are well and SAFE.<br />
<br />
Love

My dear, I have been there. I didn't have a young child, but I had health issues, a job I hated, and we were dead broke (his booze and drunken self-centered spending sprees trashed all hope of any financial security). <br />
<br />
An abusive relationship will shake your confidence in yourself, your abilities, your judgment. That is how abuse perpetuates itself. You will feel the effects for awhile. Get counseling if you can and/or go to Codependents Anonymous. Even if he wasn't a substance abuser, you will gain a remarkable amount of insight, support, and inner strength from those meetings. It can be a lifesaver. <br />
<br />
I left once, but fear of facing the world alone and with nothing (and his convincing promises that he'd change his ways) made me go back and waste another 5 years of my life. The second time I left with nothing but my clothes and my laptop, but the thought of spending the rest of my life in despair gave me the strength to do it. <br />
<br />
It hasn't been easy, but it's been worth every bit of struggle and sacrifice. You can't place a price on freedom, respect, and peace of mind. <br />
<br />
The universe will provide opportunities to pull yourself up if you look for them, take advantage of them, take time to help others, and have faith that your efforts will pay off. Above all, do not succumb to the temptation to return to an unhappy, damaging existence just because it's familiar or you get tired of the struggle. You DO deserve better and have an obligation to your child to protect him/her from that environment. Life CAN be better in a way that's nearly impossible to imagine when you're living under the cloud of a controlling, abusive partner. <br />
<br />
My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. But better late than never. Good luck, and stay gone!

My dear, I have been there. I didn't have a young child, but I had health issues, a job I hated, and we were dead broke (his booze and drunken self-centered spending sprees trashed all hope of any financial security). <br />
<br />
An abusive relationship will shake your confidence in yourself, your abilities, your judgment. That is how abuse perpetuates itself. You will feel the effects for awhile. Get counseling if you can and/or go to Codependents Anonymous. Even if he wasn't a substance abuser, you will gain a remarkable amount of insight, support, and inner strength from those meetings. It can be a lifesaver. <br />
<br />
I left once, but fear of facing the world alone and with nothing (and his convincing promises that he'd change his ways) made me go back and waste another 5 years of my life. The second time I left with nothing but my clothes and my laptop, but the thought of spending the rest of my life in despair gave me the strength to do it. <br />
<br />
It hasn't been easy, but it's been worth every bit of struggle and sacrifice. You can't place a price on freedom, respect, and peace of mind. <br />
<br />
The universe will provide opportunities to pull yourself up if you look for them, take advantage of them, take time to help others, and have faith that your efforts will pay off. Above all, do not succumb to the temptation to return to an unhappy, damaging existence just because it's familiar or you get tired of the struggle. You DO deserve better and have an obligation to your child to protect him/her from that environment. Life CAN be better in a way that's nearly impossible to imagine when you're living under the cloud of a controlling, abusive partner. <br />
<br />
My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. But better late than never. Good luck, and stay gone!

I'm a man, so you might not like me. But I'm glad you left. Noone deserves that. Stay strong, never give up. If he's hitting you, it's because his mind is limited. If you left, your's isn't. Be strong. Be a woman. Make yourself proud, and protect your children. I'm a real man, and my hands have callouses. I respect a strong woman. Take care of you and yours.

damn,,,, this is a tough one and you are going thru hell right now. And he's probably begging you to come back and he'll change and do everything right this time. Problem.. he won't and can't change. This is what he is, and the only way for things to change is for you to be strong and realize that this relationship is not healthy and is actually dangerous. Your child won't hate you for leaving his dad. He'll admire you as he gets older and realizes what life was like for you. Your child and you will better off emotionally, mentally.. and physically from your leaving him. If you have to.. get a restraining order. It sounds harsh, but this is reality and this guy is not very stable. In the short term, you are going to go thru hell as you try to get over what has been happening to you and now leaving the relationship, but long term, it will be the best thing you ever did (besides having a beautiful child). You also should look for a shelter for women or something similar. As hard as it is, you need to stay strong and focused your son and you being in a healthy environment and keep this guy away. He'll beg, then threaten, then beg..... Try to surround yourself with friends and family and do what you have to keep yourself and your child safe, healthy and happy

ms.mommy--i know how u feel, i 2 hav been in an abusive relationship & i struggled w/many many things both during the relationship & after it was over. i was 18 & he wu my 1st serious boyfriend. i would really luv 2 share & help--if u let me...plz read my profile & u can share there or if u prefer we can talk privately, directly thu my email: mondry@att.net<br />
sincerely & respectfully <br />
kris mondry rn, bsn

You are not alone. You are so much stronger than you know. Keep yourself safe. Keep your son safe. Those are your directives right now. Don't go back; it will probably never get better. He may try to woo you back and convince you he has changed. <br />
<br />
Be strong and firm in your decision; do not waver. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.<br />
<br />
This is truly a NO.

Well done for leaving!!I have hadn't a similar experience but you should command yourself for having the courge to leave the abuse..you've already proved just how strong you are!