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Fml Alot

If I had real friends I could tell them this but my grandmother just yelled at me again apparently I was supposed to wash the dishes and empty the drain I didnt know about that and instead of using her in-door voice and simply using her mouth and words she yelled and smacked me a few times that was too much for me so i yelled back " Why are you bothering me I'm not doing anything to you theres only two ppl in here and im not doing anything to you" she said she didnt care how many ppl were in here and that i was bothering her my not cleaning the drain because i should know already to do so..mind u this is the first time im actually washing dishes and things like that.. shes threatening me and slapping me i want to be able to tell me best friends but i cant because then im looked at like a weird charity case a lost cause and i dont like those looks and stares i already have no self confidence so to me its like come on really you have to tear me down more....i think she has some pent up anger issues with other ppl and shes taking it out on me and that not right because i havent done anything I want to kill myself and i know ive said tht a few times i really mean it i wanna kill myself because that seems to be the only way to be left alone and honestly i counted today i only have 7 ppl i can go to to talk about certain things and they're all family smh i have a few friends at school but i cant tell them these things which is why i come here kinda hoping for some ideas of how to make things better because listening to "Make it stop" isnt working anymore....
Tasia2494 Tasia2494 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2012

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killing yourself is not the solution! :( if you use that to solve your problem you will not be alive to experience the difference it has made. i know that sometimes things seem like its too much, or not fair, but i promise things will get better! your friends will not think that of you, give them more credit then that. people do want to help if you let them. <br />
if you ever need to talk feel free to message me