Need Some Advise.

i'm with what seems like a very wonderful woman that has 2 kids. we live kinda far apart right now and it's going to be a year before we can even think about living together. lately alot of her ex boyfriends have been sending me messages that she is telling them that she want's to work thing out with them. i've been cheat on by my last two ex's and have trust issues when it comes to being told things like that. today asked her about what her exes have been telling me and she tells me to drop it and ignore them. which i do for the most part. she doesn't even want to talk about it. that's were i have a problem because when i've been told that in the past it's been true. i do trust her with everything i just wish she would talk to me about it. right now we are at a point were we are about to split up for good because of it all. do i ignore the exes or do i take what they say and break it off with her for good. i love her with all of my heart and want to believe she is being faithful to me. i just can't get past my experiences with this type of i really don't know what to do right now. any help or advise would be appreciated.
derimond derimond
36-40, M
6 Responses Mar 31, 2012

an update to everyone. we work everything out and talked for a long time about things that have been trying to break us up. we're taking steps right now to build a stronger healthier, lasting relationship. and we're both looking forward to being married to each other with in a years time.

I think it's best for you to do your own investigations. It's not because you don't trust her enough. It's just that for a relationship to work out, you have to be at peace. And since this thing is bothering you (even in the slightest way), you can't just ignore it. You have to address things bothering either or both of you.

Protect ur heart and feed ur gut some proof. Otherwise its going to eat away at u.

my heart tells me to trust everything she say's.and my gut tells me to get out now.

I understand your pain. I had a cheating Ex. Awful man. I was also harrased by the women he cheated with. So that being said I totally understand. My heart tells me you want to love this woman. You want to trust. You can't it won't happen. You have those seeds in your head and until you can have proof you won't be comfortable. It eats at you. If she is just denying your right to talk about the pain you feel with this kind of information they she is trying to just avoid dealing with anything. You need some kind of assurance. If she is not willing to help you through this then she is not what you need. The fact you have trust issues from your past is a part of you . She should respect that. My new bf understands my history. I totally trust him! There are people who you can and deserve your trust. Most of all. Trust yourself. Your gut. Your heart. Use them all together to find the right choice. Love yourself first. <br />
Here for your support<br />

my heart and gut are split on this

Ask yourself can you live with never knowing? I couldn't torn me apart. Plus I should have trusted my own insticts. Love is beautiful but its also something that deserve respect and nurturing. Trust yourself.

If you honestly love her with all of you're heart, then you would do anything to be with her correct? If that is the case, ignore the ex's. You never know when jealousy can take a person to the level of lying. If you love her then put a little faith in her and and keep moving forward with your relationship. If she is wanting to get back with them, then she will and you will not be able to stop her, but it seems to me that if she doesnt want to talk about it then she wants to be with you and doesnt want to be bothered by the same questions over and over again. Just be happy with her, and let her know there is no one else you would rather be with.<br />
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hope this helps:)