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Feeling Depressed, Lost, Worthless And Lonely.. Just Need Someone To Talk To Or Get Advice From I Guess..

I didn't know where to turn to, so google brought me here. 
I am 20 years old, a girl. I used to be a total extrovert, completely confident and outgoing in front of everybody, now the only time I am my old self is when I am with kids (I teach youth groups, sunday schools, etc). 
 My dad died 3 years ago, my family left me because they thought money was more important, i've had an abusive relationship, and now it seems like I have no more friends except for my loving boyfriend. 
I have people who come to me when they need help, because they know I can help them and give them advice, but its like thats all they want me for, when thats done, they're done with me. 
I volunteer all the time, serve at my church and other youth retreats, but..
I've been getting really insecure with myself lately, doubting my worth, seeing myself as gross and ugly. 
People say I'm beautiful, I even hear "you should be a model!" on my pictures, but lately I just feel fat and ugly and hate putting on clothes in the morning. 
I don't have friends anymore..so I don't know who to talk to, I just want someone to hang out with and go shopping with or get my nails done with. My boyfriend is amazing, but he's still a guy. 

I just feel worthless and gross. I just wish someone could help me. :(sa
AnnaS1 AnnaS1 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 8, 2012

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What you are experience is absolutely normal. Take a deep breath then exhale. Chances are it psylogical, but if not seek immediate intervention including mariage therapy, individual therapy, and couples counsesing.

You are lost and depressed, that's how I feel. I feel like the is someone inside trying to rip my skin and finally see the light, be the real me, the one that can be happy. You are wonderful, you help so much people but it is time you help yourself. Be a little bit greedy and do what you really want. Take some time off and get lost in a new place in order to really find what you want and yourself.