Deeply Heartbroken & Afraid

I fell in love with a boy when I was 14 we were each others first kiss first love... We were separated as a result of his parents divorce otherwise we wouldve married in high school. 4 years ago we met again after 25 years apart and we had an affair we were deeply in love .We used to sleep with the phone on our ears so we wouldn't be apart for a second...finally I made the painful decision to move 400 miles from my home with my 8 year old in tow and it broke my heart to do that to my husband but I did it for this because this man is the love of my life the one I should've been with since high school. Thing is he got his divorce and the I took 2 years to get mine, I made lots of excuses but the problem is Im Catholic and I had such a guilty conscience so I tried to keep them both happy and I travelled every other weekend back to my hometown so my son could be with his father... I felt so guilty and morally obligated . I also worked harder than I thought I could to build a successful business here and now I am doing well and about to buy a house but the entire situation was very stressful on us both, we hardly saw each other anymore because of my travels and our jobs... The love was strong and we were so loving with each other every time we were together, I mean we were very passionate and romantic regardless. So about a week ago he started to talk about taking a break to think because we weren't doing well anymore and I told him lets work it out without a break.. we did good for a week then we didn't see each other as much and finally this Tuesday he came over to say he couldn't take it any longer and that we were finished, he didnt say it in anger but he said he fell out of love with me long ago and that he couldn't go on unhappy in the relationship .. he said things I can't write here bc it will stir me up again but I love him and I can't accept that... it can't be that someone who loved me deeply last week doesn't love me this week.  I discovered theres another woman in this, he thinks I am just imagining that but I heard his voicemails and she talks about how sex was etc... I am nearly suicidal over this, I lost my marriage my family and I know nobody in this town, all to be here to marry him !!  I want him back, part of the problem also is that I had gained lots of weight and he wanted me to lose weight and I just didn't get around to it yet because of everything else I was doing for our future.

Is there any hope that he will wake up and not throw it all away ? Can it be because of the girl or is it really me ?Ive been crying for 5 days now, I lost 7 lbs from this already, I cant even drink soup, I am just unable to work or take care of my child or anything I am so hopeless.

Please tell me what you think... can he be recovered ? People telling me to lose the weight move to the new house and move on and let him see me and go from there .


babybaby29 babybaby29
41-45
2 Responses May 6, 2012

There is only hope for the relationship if there Isa willingness to look for help. Try to look into retrouvaille.org a Catholic marriage intervention program with amazing success. I am feeling just like you in hopeless and despair in my marriage with similar parallels. I am not home and have no support here and think I will have to raise my kids alone. I know there has ti be a way through this but if you feel like me I am praying for us both.

Yes, there is hope as you both are lovers. So, let us see this way. As you said, you both are stressed up. I think what you need to do is just drop out your business and just concentrate on your lover and your son. Perhaps, the intimacy is lost or the due to the work pressure the sensual love part started to missing.