So Confused And Upset

I am in the middle of a divorce from a 20 yr relationship. We have been separated for 5 months. this was my choice as I disconnected myself years ago. I have met someone through a friend and we have been talking via email, FB and the phone. Things started casual as just a friend and someone to talk to. He is married but not happy and has been contemplating leaving. She cheated a yr ago and he has made changes she has done nothing and continues to tell him she needs her space. I saw him about 3 weeks after we started talking we hung out had great conversation, and we did kiss, but that was it. We continued to talk, and things got much more involved and it became every day several times a day. Now I am falling in love with him and I know he feels the same about me. We were supposed to get together again this weekend to see each other. Until his wife read a FB message that I sent. So now everything has changed. He called me to tell me about it and said they were going to get separated and this was expected to happen. They have not been happy and this is what they both wanted. The next morning he calls me to tell me he cant do this anymore he needs to figure things out and do this on his own. He cant have me in his life anymore, he was confused and did not know what to do, I was devastated. I tired pleading with him, but it did not work. So after an hour of talking I hung up the phone and then shortly after sent him an email to let him know how I felt etc. He called me awhile after that. He sounded much better and said he was not sure what he had to do, but he was not making any decisions and needed some time to thin, about what he wanted. He wasn't sure if he should throw in the towel or what? I know this was my stupid fault getting involved with someone who is married, but I really truly feel he is my sole-mate if that is possible. We connected and just have so much in common and we talk about anything. He has become my best friend. I just don't want to lose him. What should I do, just sit back and give him his space? Do I continue to email him, call him? I I am so sick over this and need some advise.
veryupset1 veryupset1
36-40, F
May 8, 2012