Wornout

I am so tired of my family taking advantage of me.  I can never do enough.  My daughter is Bipolar and Hep C positive.  Her significant other of 11 years does not work and expects me to pay for what my daughter's disability does not cover.  She is the single mom of 3 teenage boys, one of which she has lost to her exhusband because of her disability.  I have always helped with the other two and now they are disrespecting me also because I don't do everything they want.  My husband never pays attention to me and I am desperate to talk with someone.
wornout2 wornout2
56-60
1 Response May 9, 2012

You gave birth to your daughter, you nurtured her, you cared for her and still do. She has 3 children and a boyfriend of 11 years. Her children don't treat you well because you aren't giving them enough and they want more. And as the cherry on top, your husband doesn't have a clue and isn't supporting you throughout all this.<br />
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Take a really big deep breath. Take a few, it sounds like you can use a moment for yourself. <br />
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Your daughter has 3 children and a boyfriend. Sounds like she can do just fine for herself Bipolar or not. There's medication for that and therapy and multiple support groups, give her the phonebook. As for her boyfriend, she picked him. She's Bipolar not Schizophrenic. She picked him, she can have him, she can deal with him. As for the kids, well...kids behave they way they are taught to behave. You don't treat yourself with respect, why should they respect you? I mean that in a helpful way but it's honest, lets be real...you act like a doormat, allow yourself to be used by your daughter (their mother) and her boyfriend so why should they treat you any better? They won't, nor should you expect them too. You taught them to treat you that way and only you can change that. <br />
It's not your fault your daughter is Bipolar and has Hep C. So why do you feel so guilty about it? Why do you feel you have to lay out the red carpet, suck yourself dry and do everything for her? Besides that, if you really want to help her, you will teach her that no matter what challenges she has, she can overcome them...ON HER OWN. That she is strong and smart enough to care for herself and her children. That she can have a beautiful healthy happy life even with her challenges. COME ON... Tough love for you here...PASS IT ON TO YOUR DAUGHTER ;)<br />
As for your husband...have you told him how you feel? Have you been open with him that you need support. Men and women are very different. He will not know unless you ask or say and there's nothing wrong with that. If he loves you, he will listen and give you what you need..when you ask and tell him. I suspect it's quite possible he noticed what I did though. <br />
LET GO of your guilt because it's not your fault. You want things to get better...Lead by example. Treat yourself and others with respect. Believe in your daughter's ability to handle her life with the challenges that are in it. Show her that you believe in her and let her handle her life. Do it gently, don't just turn your back on her. After all you're the one who has gotten everyone accustomed to you being the servant. And then LIVE YOUR LIFE HAPPILY!