Don’t Know How Much I Can Take This

I’m almost 22, in two weeks to be exact. I have always been introvert and very intense. In 2010 I was diagnosed with HS Type II, they told me there was no cure for it and I started taking the meds to control it. The medication didn't help me at all, I tried three different ones. 2010, was the year I moved to London. I don’t have any friends. I try talking to people but I feel rejected. This is not a very good story but I just want to write this, get it off my chest. I’ve had a horrible childhood, my parents didn’t get along and when I was a teenager I used to beat up anyone and everyone. Years passed by and I feel so sorry about it. I’m not very good at sharing and I don’t want to disclose my full story but I’ve tried killing myself a bunch of times. The fact I’m alive today is only because i’m a coward. I feel like a need a new start from scratch. Just like when you play some video game and after GameOver you get another chance. I don’t know what i’m writing here. I don’t know if its about me having this horrible skin disease or not having anyone to talk or me just feeling guilty. All I know is that one of these days I won't wake up. I don’t want anybody’s sympathy. I just want someone to care. 
gs037 gs037
May 15, 2012