Just Another Story..

Right, i've had depression all my life but recently it's got bad with suicidal thoughts, went to the hospital discharged myself as i didnt want to have it in my head that i stayed at a mental health hospital. My family and I had a holiday after this incident to 'relax' and over the last couple of days i've been thinking of a friend in a different way, but it doesn't feel like the typical having a crush on someone. So as all of my friends are off to Uni within the next week (i'm 18) we all went out clubing. Me and this person have been good mates for years, and by the end of the night i basicly told her how i felt, but not to the extent i think i do. Today its really hurting me, she is kinda of seeing someone but i wish so hard that i could fight, but i don't know if i have the strength, kinda loosing hope. Thanks for reading.
johnsmith9 johnsmith9
18-21
3 Responses Sep 14, 2012

The Black Dog as we call it in Australia can be a hard thing to deal with and in your situation is seems as though the battle is not necessarily easy. Honesty with feelings is always hard especially if depression is primary within your life as, the hurt of being honest in feelings and finding or receiving rejection can hurt two fold.
Talking about it is always the best thing and getting your feelings, opinions and expressing yourself is always hard but worthwhile in the long run, hard to image but true.

For someone who has suffered depression since the age of six (50 now), I have learnt to manage it and though I, in a similar way, told someone how I felt about our friendship and that there is was more to the friendship from my side, I struggled to accept the outcome. It led to many things as I written in some of my stories on here, but I look back now and think I did the right thing, I was honest with myself and them and even though it did not work out, I struggled but managed to get on with it and though thinking about it now, I look back with a little regret, I would not change my decision.

It is fine for us to give advice on where to go to from here but will all deal with things differently and what is good for me may not be good for you but one thing for certain, talking or writing about it is a start. I hope it works for you and your life becomes happy and pleasing. (Sorry if I have rambled)

Sorry to hear all that . If you need or want anybody to ever talk or vent to , feel free to message me .

Life and love . . . they can both be exceedingly painful and our task is to endure . * hugs *

Don't give up! I know exactly how you feel. Remember that you are cared about and you have people thinking and praying about you. Jesus loves you more than you can imagine no matter how badly you mess up or how miserable you feel! He's with you every step of the way!