Bad Mother!

I feel like the main people in my life just don't get me or the things I hope to accomplish.

my mother whom I try hard to please often questions my parenting choices (why do I still breastfeed my eleven month old, Why I don't really believe in shoes ect)
my lo's father who met his daughter when she was six months wants to micromanage and control everything in both of our lives from the boy clothes he purchases for our daughter down to the sitter... which is and will remain a touchy subject... During my pregnancy he wasn't around.. placed a few phone calls may be once or twice a month... he questioned whether my child was his so I offered up a dna test because he called me a *****, loose, and other names I'd care not to repeat... he told me he didn't want our child, and he wished to sign his rights away... so when I naturally went into to the hospital to be induced I naturally didn't contact him.. by this point I was angry and bitter because everyone was there and positive but him.... he by chance called me the night I'd given birth to our baby and I told him I'd contact him when it was time to do the test, after I got settled.. two weeks later I called and said okay let's schedule something I need assistance with child care and I can't get it without you coming forward and he tells me "the ball is in his court' "he was gonna make my life a living hell" I told him I knew he didn't want her but I needed him to come forward as I was to return to work and had no sitter for our child... he didn't care.. he wanted me to pay for him to take a dna test which i said I'd only do half.. for weeks he called when he wanted... and scheduled dates and times but never came through.. meanwhile the sitter i'd lined up (my grandmother) dropped out at the last minute.. and my bff from high school told me His mother would be willing to care for my child... we did a dry run and it went well.. so I left my baby in the care of my bff's mother.. eventually I sought the governments help to make him submit his dna and it drug out for 5 to six months... with him finally meeting her april 30th for the first time... he'd miss so much and I was angry beyond all belief. for the names called and now you're so humble and crying.... seriouslY? the same child you called an IT! you now want to love and be around...

he starts talking about being a family... (I'm thinking what's that?) he starts asking from the moment his daughter was around where was her sitter and I still angry told him not to worry about it.. he wasn't paying her nor was he offering to do anything... he starting buying lo things because he knew we had a court date, and wanted to show he was being a "father" he would still ask from time to time who the sitter was and I wouldn't say.. Eventually I tell him it's my bff's mother and he called me names saying he didn't want another man around his daughter that the only man who needed to hold and care for her was him... He started asking where the lady lived.. and i knew he had a temper and that my bff was still living with his mother so I never told for fear that he'd try to go and hold a argument because bff was holding our child or playing with her. he then accuses me of hiding secrets and that someone could be messing with his daughter meaning my bff... I told him i would never put my lo in harms way.. and that I trust her sitter and my bff... my bff and I dated for 6 months in highschool 9 years ago and i told my daughters father when we were engaged becaue i didn't believe in secrets.. bff and I saw we were better off friends and left it at that... but my daughters father never let it go... saying were were still dating and he feel like a "b****" because I will not move his child at his request... his only reason is because my bff is around and he feels our eleven month old is acting a certain way towards him and it's because I'm letter another man hold and be around our child... so he wants me to move her 20 minutes from me to another city with a sitter who's currently caring two or three other children. I said well how about we let me go on the days that the sitter does her part time job.. that didn't please him... I said well you know I was wrong for how I handled the situation with you not meeting the sitter so if you are off and would like to meet her then I'll take you there... he now says he doesn't want to go and his daughter will be moved... I don't know what to do.. My bff and his mother have cared for me while i was pregnant, and lo since she was five weeks... I don't want to uproot her because he feels like less than a man at the thought of a "swing D***" around his child other than him.... I'm angry that he's making this so difficult.. I wish I had of handled it a diff way but since day one of him finding out who's mother she was he has been saying he wanted her somewhere else.. so i know that there was nothing i honestly could have done..
conflicted2012 conflicted2012
Sep 20, 2012