Lonely Love..

I have never really had a good life. My father sexually abused me until I was 3, and my mother was an alcoholic drug addict. I had to raise my little sister and myself until I was 8. There was never any food, no parent to tuck us in at night, that was until i was taken in by my aunt who is also an alcoholic and didn't even want her own kids.. I got myself into sports and did everything I could to not go home. By the time I was in high school I started dating and met this girl. I thought she loved me, until I found out she cheated on me.. With my sister. For some reason, I didn't leave her. She carved my sisters name into her leg, stayed the night at my house to see her, and yet, I stayed with her for 2 years. I finally had an excuse to get away from home, with someone who I thought made me happy. She started pushing me and throwing me around but somehow I would still end up begging for her to stay. She eventually left me for my best friend the week before valentines day and two weeks before our anniversary, while I was nearly hospitalized for having extreme bronchitis.. I couldn't eat anymore without getting sick, and I had nothing to keep me away from home. I ended up doing 4 sports a week, never having time to eat, and was never home. I lost a lot of weight, had a super cut body, that was until I tore 3 muscles in my shoulder, lost my cheer scholarship and had to give up the last thing that had any meaning to me. I ended up moving schools to get away from my ex and I made so many friends. I was popular, and everyone wanted to be around me. Well, 2 years had past and I finally decided I would give dating a try, There was this really nice guy, super handsome, and incredibly sweet. I thought he could give me what I had always wanted. A functional relationship. Well, he was that guy for a few months. I ended up moving in with him after 8 months because I got tired of my aunt telling me she hated me and that I wouldn't grow up to be anything in life, and that's where it went downhill.. At first he was only violent when he was drunk, and then it was whenever I proved him wrong, and now, it's whenever I ask him a question. Like my ex, he started with pushing me, then moved to throwing me on the ground, and now he slaps me. He has recently split my lip and left me multiple bruises. He sprained my elbow once and like always, I had an excuse to tell everyone else. I don't think I do anything wrong, I just want to know why he put a lock on his phone and started sleeping with it in his pillow case.. I can't have any friends, but yet he gets to go out and drink with his friends whenever he wants. I know I need to leave, no matter how much I love him, but I have nowhere to go, no car, no money, and no family. I have nothing but someone who always has something to blame on me. I just miss being happy. I miss having friends. I haven't had someone to talk to in 6 months and every time he leaves me, I just thing about how happy I used to be. I want to feel functional for the first time in my life, but I just don't know how to do that.. I'm tired of crying alone every night. I want to know what it's like to have a family that loves me, or just one person at least.. And someone who isn't ashamed of me like he is..
sillysilly54 sillysilly54
2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

You poor girl! Sounds like if you didn't bad luck you'd have no luck atall. Sell the car: sell the TV. You need to put some distance between yourself and Romeo there. Next time he swings at you counter punch him. Girls have smaller bony hands. You've got to protect number one. With your small hands notted up you can stun his ribs and get his attention. Be ready to run. And if he's the kind of jerk that will hurt you back. Call the cops. Make sure your name is on the rental lease. Watch out girl men of this sort are unpredictable. Good luck...

You need to make a decision in life. U cant allow someone else to treat you that way. But the decision, no matter how hard it is.... has to be take by you alone....