I Just Lost A Real Good Friend

Last night my female friend came to visit while my wife was out of town. We were talking and joking around having fun. We were having a good time (no alcohol involved here). She was telling me about her problems when she suddenly kissed me and told me she really needed me to hold her. I have held her close before so it was no big deal. She is like the daughter I never had. I am 50 and she is 25 and a very attractive lady. We have been friends for a few years and I have been there for her through break ups and other drama. Tonight was no different,her boyfriend cheated on her (again!). So she told him she was done. We became friends one day when her car ran out of gas and I helped her out and wouldn't take money for the gas. I wanted absolutely nothing in return. We started talking back and fourth and quickly became friends. Her parents are not very supportive so I kind of "adopted"her. Well tonight she was really a mess. I listened intently to her concerns and held her as she cried. I put my arm around her as she cried. That is when she kissed me. I thought nothing of it at first. Then she kissed me a little more intently. I should of pulled away but I was drawn to her kiss. I found myself kissing her back. She started to undress me and I started to undress her. I wanted to stop but I couldn't resist. She is very pretty,with a very nice figure. I was weak I will admit it. My wife and I have been having problems in the bedroom and hadn't been intimate in some time. Suddenly we were naked and laying in bed. The very thought of a young attractive women wanting me was turning me on. I do not look or act my age. People think I am 10 years younger and I have had younger women flirt with me. I should of resisted,I should of stopped things before they got too far out of control but I didn't. I feel so guilty and ashamed. My friend and I spent the next 2 and a half hours making love. (Yes there was plenty of lust between us) (But we were sharing our true feelings and desires for each other). Afterwards she cleaned up and went home. I slept really good dreaming about her. But when morning came so did reality. I tried to call her and she wouldn't answer. I texted her but she wouldn't return my text. I tried to e-mail and she wouldn't respond. I went to her apartment but she wouldn't answer the door. I know she feels bad about what happened and so do I. She finally e-mailed back and respectfully said for me to never contact her ever again. No explanation,nothing. I am very sad about losing the one true friend I had. I have other friends but not a female friend who I can share my feelings with and who can share her feelings with me. I never realized how much I really cared for her until now. I destroyed our friendship. I have no one to blame but myself. I am very sad. It is not everyday that a guy is able to find a true female friend. Quite simply I blew it.
truckerman9999 truckerman9999
46-50, M
3 Responses Dec 8, 2012

I know you can kick yourself till your black and blue but its done now x If it comes about that she is pregnant then worry about that if it comes x Life really does make some twists, email me if you want or need x

Thank you sweetie. Just when you think you wise beyond your years reality slaps you upside the head.

I know what her reasons may be. I violated a trust that we had. She was weak and vulnerable and I took advantage of that moment. If she does forgive the bond we had will never be the same. Just like ringing a bell. You can't unring a bell. B.T.W. mistake number 2 I made was that I DIDN'T use protection. It didn't even cross my mind at the time. I really messed up. If she does turn up pregnant though I will be a man about it and stand up to what I did. I know it will be very hard,but we both don't believe in abortion so we will have a very difficult journey ahead of us. Thanks for the hug I need it.

Sending hugs for you now, I think its a very sweet moment that you were both allowed, give her time as she may miss that friendship closeness and get back in touch and if she doesnt I know it will be very hard and somewhat lonely but understand she has her reasons xx