My sister is suicidal. My dad is abusive and my mother is never home. I want to be the first success in my family but I am immediatley put into a certain category everytime people find out my name. The only thing I want in the world is to make this soccer team so I can get a college scholarship later. I'm so afraid to be cut and fearful I have nothing else left
Someonewhoo Someonewhoo
2 Responses Dec 13, 2012

I grew up in a similar situation. My parents were always fighting, my dad was abusive, my brother was violent and destructive. I often found myself alone, confused, scared and angry. You have options. Throw everything you have into studying. Don't think of it as a chore, but as a tool to give you what you want. Knowledge really is power. You don't even have to know what you want right now. It really doesn't take a lot to get a scholarship for schools. If you don't think you can afford it, aim for full scholarship at a community college. When you get there, fight hard, you -will- come out on top. Transfer to a bigger school. Repeat that process. Use these feelings that you have now to fuel you. I grew up thinking that I wanted to change my fate, and for the most part, I have. Just use your fear, your disgust, your pain and funnel that into a drive to make your own life exactly what you want it to be, because that is all you. That is what you have the power to do. I wish you the best of luck, but you won't need it, because if you're already having these thoughts, it means you are already separating yourself from the circumstances you were born into.

You can do anything you set your mind to, no matter what anyone tells you. You have the drive, just get rid of your fear. As long as you strive for something, it can be yours... just don't be discouraged by how long it takes.

Don't put all your hopes on one path. Sports scholarships are great ways to get the money for school if you can pull it off, but you need a back-up plan. No need to rush. Take what credits you can afford with a part-time job if you can't handle a loan. There's always a way. Never give up.

- B

Thank you very much B this really meant a lot to me and you have helped me in a very profound way to understand what choices I should make