Is My Life Ever Going To Turn Around?

Well, here it goes, I'm a 14 year old girl, and when I was 7 years old i got sexually molested by my grandpa, and this went on for about 3 years, my mother didnt know because she was always at work, I don't wanna even talk about it to her because i don't want her to think im gross, he's in jail now. Whenever my mom and dad we're together all they'd do is get into hitting and violent fights, one day they got in a fight and my dad left me. My mom got remarried to this guy, and he was so amazing to me, and he treated me like his own, be he recently passed away. So that's when I found my sister to talk to she was so wounderful and, helped me through all my problems, I trusted her. she met this boy named Harley and she ran away for 9 months, and again im left with nobody. She came back a couple days ago, and she lost 90 pounds and she had meth burns, heroin marks on her arms, and her boyfriend was telling me how he wanted to take my virginity (am I even a virgin from getting molested?) i felt so gross.That's the first time i have cried this whole time, I feel like im numb, I feel like a have no feelings. Al the girls at my school are dating and having love, I feel like I don't want love i feel like I need to be alone, I feel like I don't deserve anything. I never cry in front of anybody i never express my feelings, only time i cry is at night when im crying myself to sleep. Is there any hope for me. Or am I better off gone.
Ineedhelpfastasap Ineedhelpfastasap
13-15
Jan 20, 2013