My Story

This might end up being long, but here it goes. I was raised in a country on top of south america. I started school there until 5th grade, there, i was constantly bullied and i had no friends, i cried all day, my teachers didn't do anything about it, and being at a catholic school, i was only a bother for the nuns that were there. I had to fake sick almost everyday just so i didn't have to be there, they befriended me when they needed something and they left me like used trash. One day, me knowing most of the students because i've studied with them all my life, one of the "cool" girls asked me for the password for my myspace, a little girl with no self stem, being me, gave it to them, they wrote horrible things calling me gay,fat,ugly etc this account still exists. I was driven to isolation. I played online games in order to make up for the lack of friends. All along my parents knew this and just told me to laugh at the harmful and cruel jokes they made, i considered suicide.
After all that a little hope came along, and i moved to the US where i still study, i didn't know how to make friends so my first year was just me. By the second year i decided to be a better person. That the past doesn't mark my future. I bought the cute clothes and i listened to music i didn't like, i got bad grades but i had friends. It was such a fast period of time, they dissolved like salt and water. 8th grade was a terrible year, because you see, i never actually even thought of me having a boyfriend, of course i wanted one, but it wasn't going to happen. By the end of middle school everyone had one. not me. I got depressed and started realizing that that wasn't the life i wanted for myself. I started using video chats online, where men will complement me and make me feel special. I decided to stop it, but i just couldn't, i shared my information that later lead me to erasing my facebook for safety concerns. I sent pictures and videos of myself exposed. It was a large number of men.
When i moved on to high school, i had the one or 2 friends i was too scared to lose so i just followed them everywhere. They all left me and by the end of freshman year i started being me and i met great people. The online chatting thing did not stop. I tried to make it stop. And now it goes to the extend of me lying about my age and texting all day with this guy. I currently have a message from him on my phone. During my high school sophomore year i had sex for the first time, it was with a guy cheating on his girlfriend. My grades are terrible. I'm not doing my best. There's many events that i neglected to add, in all honesty. Because i'm ashamed and because it just hurts too much to write. What you have there is just the basics, not even half of things i've gone through. I'm afraid life is not going to get better for me. I'm in love, in real life and he doesn't even look at me. I need help because this is like a chain of events that keep repeating themselves.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 23, 2013