I Need Someone to Talk to Right Now
Parents Always Damage You, The Right Question Is, How Deep?
Written on February 3rd, 2013
If you wonder about the first part of my title, I will tell you, we are issued from parents, and a family, who themselves are issued from parents, and a family, and we are all like that, and all not perfect. Do I have to continue?
I want to come back on the "how deep". Family secrest are often happening. Maybe about ancerstors, parents, family, or you. Not telling them is not a brake to the truth, only to communication. Because things, always perspire, from one, another, a move, a look, some words, behaviors. And children understand them as well, even quite little.
My family was a pro of gatherings, but a very failure in communication. The thing is, I was one of these secrets. There are others, sure. But that one, I need to know. I have lots of memories; I'm not deaf, not blind, and contrary to many who think I'm stupid, i'm not. Not because i don't talk, I noticed or understood nothing.
So yeah, I understood my father wasn't my father. If you can call my father a father anyway. It comes to me, that is a real psychopth, and maybe worse. Whatever. I do know my father isn't my father. Sure, a DNA test would be evidence. But now, I don't only doubt that. For some "details". I won't go fruther, for now. It's a possibility I was adopted, completely. Oh, I do know sometimes you don't look like your parents. But there are some physical pre-dominances. In the eyes too. Not only their color. But what you can see into them, the "details". Just that. Sure, once again, it would need tests. But just my family behavior pushes me to believe it's true. It doesn't go completely in that sense. but enough for I put my nose into that. It's my life, after all. Not that it would change the past, but it could change my future. It's, honeslty, my only, selfish interest here. But it's worth enough for me. If it only was about my bio father, then, I could say, they're both *****. But it goes further, that becomes very interesting.
Parents **** you up, whatever they do. but sometimes, it's worse. To me it was lots of violence to witness, and to live, emotional, sexual to some point. And, being the "apart" of the family. Knowing the truth wouldn't allow me to come back in time, and I don't want that. I don't know if I could live that all twice. But it could give me strong references for my future. But no one cares. It's a "reference" more to me.
I have another strong feeling. Not that I can explain it. But i'm gonna search, whether i'm right or wrong. If it's only my father, then, I guess I know the facts, not the story though. If it's my mother too, then, it could be she was very young. Whatever. I need to search anyway. Not frantically. but put some meaning.
I want to come back on the "how deep". Family secrest are often happening. Maybe about ancerstors, parents, family, or you. Not telling them is not a brake to the truth, only to communication. Because things, always perspire, from one, another, a move, a look, some words, behaviors. And children understand them as well, even quite little.
My family was a pro of gatherings, but a very failure in communication. The thing is, I was one of these secrets. There are others, sure. But that one, I need to know. I have lots of memories; I'm not deaf, not blind, and contrary to many who think I'm stupid, i'm not. Not because i don't talk, I noticed or understood nothing.
So yeah, I understood my father wasn't my father. If you can call my father a father anyway. It comes to me, that is a real psychopth, and maybe worse. Whatever. I do know my father isn't my father. Sure, a DNA test would be evidence. But now, I don't only doubt that. For some "details". I won't go fruther, for now. It's a possibility I was adopted, completely. Oh, I do know sometimes you don't look like your parents. But there are some physical pre-dominances. In the eyes too. Not only their color. But what you can see into them, the "details". Just that. Sure, once again, it would need tests. But just my family behavior pushes me to believe it's true. It doesn't go completely in that sense. but enough for I put my nose into that. It's my life, after all. Not that it would change the past, but it could change my future. It's, honeslty, my only, selfish interest here. But it's worth enough for me. If it only was about my bio father, then, I could say, they're both *****. But it goes further, that becomes very interesting.
Parents **** you up, whatever they do. but sometimes, it's worse. To me it was lots of violence to witness, and to live, emotional, sexual to some point. And, being the "apart" of the family. Knowing the truth wouldn't allow me to come back in time, and I don't want that. I don't know if I could live that all twice. But it could give me strong references for my future. But no one cares. It's a "reference" more to me.
I have another strong feeling. Not that I can explain it. But i'm gonna search, whether i'm right or wrong. If it's only my father, then, I guess I know the facts, not the story though. If it's my mother too, then, it could be she was very young. Whatever. I need to search anyway. Not frantically. but put some meaning.
Age:
31-35
,
Female
