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Sick Shameful

I keep messing up, at everything, all the things i love, i keep screwing up.
I try everything in my power, i study and go to tutorials after school, i practice drawing almost everyday, i read a lot and volunteer every now and then.

But everything i touch, i break by accident, or at least people tell me its an accident, or maybe its just bad luck.
I somehow continue to make a fool of myself, i can't even bring myself to talk to my friends anymore, I don"t want them to ask me if I'm "ok".

it bothers me, everyone has their own definition of "ok"

I'm surrounded by people who are way more nice, intelligent and talented, so i feel like i don't have a place any where near them.

I fail WAY more than i should, i used to draw neat things that people would enjoy looking at, i used to have fun with everyone, now I'm just useless.

Now I'm this bi-polar, annoying, dumb person who just can't seem to get a grip on anything.
once i have something nice, even if its small, i end up hurting it or losing it.

I'm just shameful.
Tuffoli Tuffoli 16-17 1 Response Feb 4, 2013

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Your not dead so your not too clumsy. And you typed that without any mistakes. Your a perfectionist but maybe slow down and smell the flowers embrace the small meaning less things elevator doesn't get stuck every time you're on it right? And yeah **** breaks but later on after a 100 thinks you break the 101will make you feel more focused. And you won't break it off loose it focus takes practice