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I'M So Angry And Confused

I don't know what to do right now. My older sister disowned me in the car this morning because she believes deeply that I insulted her motherhood by saying she possible abused her child. She told me that as of that moment in time she has pushed our relationship apart and she will no longer feel the same about me.

I ******* already know there are horrible parents out there who do unspeakable things, but I was angry at her for not even considering being more gentle with her son.

She basically told me that since I'm younger than she is and since I've decided to get an education and not partake in the things most young people do, and since I'm introverted, that I not only have not experience any of the things she has, but that all of my arguments about any such things that have never happened in our household are completely invalid. She said invalid.

I said a nasty thing this morning in my opinion; I said I didn't take it back when I said she was abusive. I was angry. I admit now that abuse is a horrible word to have used; I am a pretty sensitive person to violence, and I don't think that just because I've not experienced as many things as she has that it makes what I say any less important, but still that was wrong of me.

The thing is, even if I was wrong, she's not the kind of person that takes any sort of criticism well. Now I have to beg her to take back what she said. She really hurt my heart this morning, and said she wouldn't forgive me for apologizing for what I said.

I don't know what to do or say to her to make things right. If she feels like what I said can't be forgive, what am I supposed to do? I'm terrified of her first of all, because she flies off the handle easily. I've always felt like she didn't like me, but I didn't even realize that she liked me enough to sever our relationship.

I am also ashamed, because I said nasty things. I actually feel like my message of attempting to talk things out and using alternatives to roughness was well founded, but she casts them off as crap I learned in school and from books, and says that since I have no children and I'm not a single mother, I don't anything. That part makes me the angriest because although I love my nephew she's the one who put herself in the situation she ended up in. She's a thirty-year-old woman who knew what she was doing and knew she wouldn't be married. She's not an expert on children for that.

Even so, I don't want her to hate me. What can I say? I'm so depressed I could cry in the middle of school right now. I don't want to have crossed a line I can't return over. Please help me.

lakija lakija 22-25, F Feb 8, 2013

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