How To Be Yourself Again When You Gave Away Everything That Mattered To You.

As my past stories show, I went through a n extremely messy break up. As of last Sunday, I think it is finally over. I had a talk with her, and she told me she stopped doing the things she was doing, which were hurting her, and that a new boyfriend is helping her a lot. I know she could be lying, and I am still scared that she is, but for some reason, I believed her. Since that day, I've felt somewhat calmer, but extremely empty. I feel like I gave it all away, to the end, even when no one asked me for it, tand now theres not much left. I feel sexually frustrated, because I cant seem to be able to separate my own sexuality from the love I felt for her. I am not excited about the things I loved. I have even gotten asked out by 2 girls which I find out very attractive, one of which is also pretty nice, but all I feel is a mix of fear, apathy, contempt...
I feel sometimes that I can't be loved by who I really am, even thiugh honestly don't even know who I am anymore. I contemplate suicide sometimes, and s much as I usually hate the idea, sometimes having the power to just end things anytime is comforting sometimes. I hate self pity, but right now, I don't know what else I wouod hang on to if I didn't have it.
I gave too much away, because I really cared for someone. Will I ever care again? Will someone ever be willing to do just absolutely anything for me as well? What the hell is it that I really want?