Almost 26 years old and I'm still losing myself... still don't understanding me...

When things are not totally perfect sometimes this weird feeling goes over me and then I can not do nothing to fight it. 

Suddenly it just poses me. I just i'm not able to enjoy nothing and i just have the need to cry even not knowing a reason. 

The little tinny stupid things cause me just to want to dissapear and i feel just stupid for that.

And I really try to fight it, I put my lollipop music as loud as possible. I sing, I play my guitar. Screaming, louder and louder. Trying not to hear myself. And sometimes for a moment I'm able to avoid the feealing. 

But then another tinny little thing (the one now is my since a month ago ex boyfriend [after having pass the last 10 years together] saying the happy that is right now and that stuff) makes me to fell in the abisms again.

And I know myself, I know how I am and the things I can do if I feel this way... and it's scary... so I try to find a friend to talk... but I'm new in this country and I have not, and the ones from my country are now just my ex friends, so I have not friends back at home... and is even worse... 

So I write desseperated on google: I need someone to talk... And this forum appears...

kimuko kimuko
26-30, F
4 Responses Aug 21, 2009

Oh dear dear!! Please dont fear. <br />
<br />
You are so young. There are so many good things you are still to experience. Hang on and speak to people.

I too well be here for you ,,,if you need to talk Love and Light make everything right,,,Mary

Let it all out, scream, beat your fists into a pillow, cry, what ever you need to do...talk to others like-minded on here. There are solutions, don't give up. I am here if you want to talk :)

Yup, you came to a good place. Message me anytime if you need to talk. Until then, feel better. : )