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Hi

I'm feeling depressed and I was hoping that maybe there was someone to talk to...I feel kind of stupid saying this, and I don't want to bother anybody. I'm a little bit suicidal and I am a self-injurer, though I have been doing a pretty good job resisting it lately. I just want to talk and feel better. So, if you'd like to talk to me, that's cool, if not, that's cool too, thanks for reading at least.

Asrielle Asrielle 22-25, F 49 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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Why would you stupid

YOUR NOTE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION. I TOO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO BUT I DONT WANT IT TO BE SOMEONE I KNOW. I THINK STRANGERS ARE THE EASIEST BECAUSE THEY CAN BE MORE HONEST BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO EMOTIONAL TIES TO YOU. WHY IS IT THAT WHEN WE ARE SO VERY LOW WE THINK OF SUICIDE? IT HAS CROSSED MY MIND SO MANY TIMES BUT I DONT TELL ANYONE. MY HUSBAND PASSED JULY 09 AND SINCE THEN IVE MADE AWFUL MISTAKES. I DONT KNOW WHY. THEY MERELY HAPPEN. MY HUSBAND KEPT ME GROUNDED. WE HAD A PEACEFUL MARRIAGE, MEANING WE HAD SO VERY LITTLE TO ARGUE ABOUT. NOW MY LIFE IS CONSTANT CHAOS. SO...I STAY AT HOME WHERE THERE IS PEACE. I CANT SHARE MY MISTAKES BECAUSE IM ASHAMED OF THEM SO I KEEP THEM TO MYSELF AND THEY ARE EATING ME UP. HANG IN THERE, WE ALL HAVE STUFF WE THINK WE CANT HANDLE BUT WE DO. SEE.... YOU ARE STILL HERE AND YOU WILL FIGURE OUT A WAY TO RESOLVE YOUR WOES. THATS CALLED INNER STRENGHT. YOU'VE GOT IT SO...USE IT. MINE HAS BEEN DRAINED SO..I STAY HOME.

Feel free to message me next time you're feeling down.
You're not alone in this world.

I completely understand where you are coming from!

Hi, i'm feeling exactly the same way. i would like to talk to you and help you, because i help a lot of my friends with their problems but i cant fix mine.

It's not a bother. There's always someone who will be willing to help. Just remember that.
I'm always here for a chat; I'm lonely as hell.

hey dnt be depressed, real friends will always be there, when the road is tough,the tough gets going, move on friend.

cool your head alright.

I hear you. The photo is beautiful.

Hi! Don't be sad. Everything will be ok

Don't self mutilate. I used to do that. I learned not to. Ya probably been feeling pretty crappy. Ride horses if ya can. They are the most emotional animals I have ever dealt with. Pick one with a soft eye though, you will know the difference. Nothing can be awful when ya ride a horse=:0)

It isn't stupid to tell the guys about what you are feeling or going through, to get someone to talk to is easy, but to get hurt it ain't!,hope I can get along your side and I will keep talking to you till the kingdom come if you don't mind,send me your phone number or i will send you mine if you ask me to...,so hoping to hear from you soon

Why would you feel stupid if you need someone to talk to?? We all need someone almost every day. You can try www.friendneed.com

Hi ,
I too always feel like I would rather suffer alone than "bother" anyone with my burdens. I have tried twice in the past year to kill myself, but was found after od-ing on pills.
Im getting treated for major depressive disorder now. It seems to help, but Ive come to the realization that Ill probably be socially retarded.
I just wanted you to know Im here to talk to & would like to share with a person who feels the same as I do.This time of the year seems to make things worse for a lot of people, myself included.Irecently moved so dont really know anyone now.Im here if you would like to talk.Im a lot older than you, but I assure you , Im not a weirdo or anything.
I hope you make the best of your holiday.
RC

i talk to you i have nearly kill my self 12 times now. i hate blood because i use to cut i dont anymore i just smash my arm and make them briuse and staff. i was abused when i was younger i would be bash and wiped by belts and staff i slowly getting better and i happy they your doing well latly.

I feel the same way and I would love to chat with you:)

I feel the same. My friends are tired of talking to me because I am always so depressed sad and negative. I would love to chat.

that been happening to me to my friends dont what to talk to me because they think i angry at them when i want suport. nice friend right

I understand talk to me

hi my name kim how can i help u

Why do you feel you are depressed? Keep in mind that if you really feel you want to hurt yourself you should get professional help, this is not something you should play with. But again what is there in your life (or perhaps is absent from your life) that makes you depressed?

I'm single incident from just ending it all

Hi i seem to be going through the same things just back and forth with this depression every time you pull yourself up you think okay this is it im going to be better something pulls you back again i was never like this and after becoming a mum everything changed after marriage everything changed and i became a very anxious person who has been going through these really bad anxiety attacks i fight with everyday i am strong and i know that there is a higher power out there that keeps us living and fighting what to us seems like the end just look forward to each day and try not to do the same things you are doing all the time change your routine get out more spend time with people who make you laugh or take your mind off your problems you can be strong and eventually feel like you again taking control of your life if this is hard for you you should speak to a doctor because there is medication out there at least to hel us out Be strong and never think your life is not worth living it is ..... you are special and you are needed for something just be patient you will see..

I feel depressed and there is no one I can trust with my deepest feelings.

hey hey are u okay?<br />
Its my first time on this site but it feel like iv met so many people =)<br />
If you want someone to talk to im happy to talk..because i love talking to people =)

Hi<br />
<br />
I can relate to how u feeling and im going thru the very same thing....life sucks :(

Hi<br />
<br />
I can relate to how u feeling and im going thru the very same thing....life sucks :(

Hi, I hope you are feeling better, your post really scared me. Please Please do NOT do anything to hurt yourself or your family. Nothing, I mean absolutely nothing is worth killing or injuring yourself. God loves you and many of us perfect strangers out here actually do care also. You will get through this. Whatever sadness you are feeling is only temporary, and It will get better I promise. I may not know how it feels to be this depressed, but I know it is a real medical condition. I hope you will see someone who can help you deal with your illness. Just remember we DO care about you , any others who battle this problem. Life has it's good times and bad, but the good always outweigh the bad. Try to think of something that makes you happy. When I feel down, I watch a funny movie, play with my dog, or listen to music that makes me feel better. You need to say out loud " I'm gonna be ok", shout it out if that helps. Talk to your husband if he's there, I'm sure he can help you get through this. Really I find peaceful music is comforting too. I really like the theme song "St. Elmo's Fire" ( instrumental) by David Foster, Also Amy Grant's "The Collection" cd ( it's pop/ christian rock), they always make me feel better! Give 'em a try , probably avail. at least to listen to on itunes. God bless, I will pray for you. : )

Are you okay? We can talk if you want to. Just message me whenever you want because we all need to talk some time

I have been there where you are an you need to talk to some one i have been there and it hurts in my stomack and need some one .<br />
<br />
So if you need some one write to you.<br />
<br />
I am in and out during the day<br />
<br />
a big hug to you

as i read your story i wondered how the hell can she feel worth less yet she is willing to sacrifice her own life to give her man another chance at love. better yet a midst her pain how come she is worried about bothering others! see with all those questions and others, i realized you are indeed a person worth having and if you were not, you would probably be a girlfriend and not even a wife.<br />
<br />
There are so many people yes who have it worse than you do, but that does not mean you do not ache or doubt yourself or have any fears because it is a another persons lot? no no my dear, it is okay for one to have self doubts but not to reach a point of worthlessness. you are a beautiful creature and it is evident in your response to all your messages so be strong love and know indeed that in all your anonymity, there are tons of people out here that want that shy beauty that is evident in your words to be seen by others on your face and in your outlook.<br />
<br />
God Bless

this time last week i felt exactly the same as you, i found this site and the people who helped me were great, if you need to talk i am always willing to listen and share problems

Arsielle,<br />
<br />
We are the same age. I recently tried to commit suicide. The worst part is that I feel angry that I survived. I feel alone, even in a room full of people. I don't feel like anyone in my life really understands. I'd like to find someone who can understand me.....it's nice to know that you are feeling the same way. It makes me feel a little less alone, a little less crazy.

i need someone to talk to. I really don't have any friends or anyone I can trust.

Hi Asrielle.<br />
I am so pleased to see how many poeple have commented on your post. I hope is begins to show there are good, kind hearted people out there. I hope you can take some comfort from that.<br />
<br />
Please feel free to add me to your friends circle. Anytime you want to talk, I will be here to listen and help in anyway I can.<br />
<br />
In the mean time, take care.

My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. I feel this way too sometimes. But there is hope even when it doesn't seem that way. Stay strong and be brave, you can get through this!

Hi :-)<br />
<br />
I just want to tell you my story, in case it helps at any level.<br />
<br />
I am very well adjusted, and come from a wonderful supportive family. I am very lucky. <br />
<br />
However, I went to university in another city, where the weather gave me terrible headaches every day. I went to see a doctor, and we worked together with different headache medications to see if one would work. This would require taking the new medication for two weeks, both to see whether it would work and to see what potential side effects would persist.<br />
<br />
One medication I tried put me into severe depression as a side effect. If my mother (although deceased) had not been a pharmacist, and taught me to always read the medication inserts, which had indicated that this medication shouldn't be taken when depressed, and if I did not have the strong family and friend support that I had, I really feel that I might have committed suicide.<br />
<br />
Although I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone, and I can't say I enjoyed it, it did teach me a valuable lesson. I had always believed that people who were depressed just had not learned good coping mechanisms. I know now that many people, like myself at the time, are actually biochemically affected. What I considered depression before my experience, I now realize was just what I now call "philosophical" depression (I made that up, by the way ;-) ).<br />
<br />
Although I am a strong person, and had strong support network, I remember at first blaming myself...that I was letting my classes get to me, or my issues with my boyfriend. But I knew that when one Saturday I stayed in bed all day crying, that something wasn't normal. I knew this in my head (and that it was due to the drug, because I had read the med insert), but I couldn't do anything about it. I went to the doctor, and she prescribed an anti-anxiety medication for me. This medication cut the edge, such that I could make it through parts of the next day. But what I did in the long run, with support from my friends, was to fly home to see my own amazing doctor, and to stay with my family. <br />
<br />
My doctor I saw back home is one of the best diagnostic doctors I have ever met. He knew right away that this headache drug I had taken had a 3% change to cause severe depression. He got me in to see a psychiatrist very quickly where I could get prescribed an anti-depressant, which worked for me within just a couple of days!<br />
<br />
I guess what I am saying is that don't blame yourself for how you are feeling...it may be biochemical. <br />
<br />
I don't know you but, if I had to guess, I'd bet you are a very caring and sensitive person. Unfortunately, the flip side of this, as I've found with myself (and I did a bunch of research reading after all this), is that a potential problem is depression. You are doing the right thing...talking about it with us, or others. The other thing I want to emphasize is do not feel there is anything embarrassing about going to see a doctor for an antidepressant if you feel you need to...it made all the difference for me during my difficult time. Don't feel there is anything wrong with it, if you feel this is the right course for you.<br />
<br />
Actually, even now (the earlier episode was over 5 years ago), although I don't take an antidepressant regularly, I've come to recognize that every once in awhile I do cross over into that "biochemical" depression, and I take a short course or anti depressants. So I get to enjoy being just myself most of the time, with a little help once in awhile.<br />
<br />
I truly know that you will be better. Both for yourself and for your husband...because you know how much you would miss him, if things were reversed. And, I can tell that you are a caring, loving person, just from reading the way you write and the things you think of.<br />
<br />
And you have all these people here on your side, caring and holding you up!<br />
<br />
<3<br />
<br />
:-)

Hi, I am on the site for the exact same reason, I really need someone to talk to and I thought about suicidE tonight and I cut myself for the first time in months, if you need anyone to talk to I am always here. maybe we can talk to each other about this topic or somehing( that sounds odd ) but I give good advice just not to myself xD but I am here to talk, don't worry I don't judge at all

howold are u ?d you hae kids? how long did u now your husban?

I feel very down at times and also feel like it's silly because I have so much to be thankful for. I admire those people that can just be cheery and love life all the time. I do love my life and my family just as I'm sure you do. You are not silly and you are not alone and although you are correct, there are people with bigger problems than ours, sometimes our sadness isn't even related to a problem or issue we're having. Have you been to a healthcare professional recently to make sure you don't have any sort of hormonal imbalance that could be making you down in the dumps? Sometimes there is a physical problem causing our emotional state. Please do not hurt yourself; if you do that there will be one less wonderful person in the world and we need as many as we can get! Please talk to me any time. The Bible tells us to love our brothers and sisters so even though I don't know you, I can tell you that I love you as a sister and the world needs you!

i know this problem, i havent even met you , but i know you are a good person and someone will love you and give you the attention you need, keep looking, do you have any friends or siblings you can talk to, my ex girlfriend has a daughter who has the exact same problem , its all about feeling like you belong and that someone loves you, i know you dont know me but i care, please seek help a theripist a friend anyone at all,<br />
karen

I'm sorry that you're sad. I just wanted to tell you that even if you feel like your problems are not as big as others, they are still important and you should never feel stupid or ashamed to try to tak about them. You are important, and it sounds like you know that because you have a husband who loves you, so the things that are important to you, no matter how significant are important too. It seems like you have a lot of support here. I am new to EP, but I read your story and I wish there was something I could do to help. If you want to talk, message me.

Oh dear sweets, I think I know exactly what your going thru. First of all, u have to let music be ur outlet, that is the only way I have survived so far, plus the fact im not alone,well im alone a lot but u got me. Respond please, I care

This above comment ans for anyone and everyone i am here to talk to and to listen to you if u need me!

Hi, I am here for u to talk to if u need somebody! u can always message me anytime and ill get back to u as soon as i can! I just want u to kno u r not alone i Too was once a self injurer and i know how hard it is to go through almost anything and not have the courage to stop yourself. I am here to confide in anything u talk to me about is your business and noone elses. if u reli need a shoulder i am always here. ur friend BlakeAnne

Number?

I listen good. Your comment on my Ten story helped. I know this may sound retarded but I took a picture (with a camera) once that looks like your avitar (minus the palm trees) Im in a weird needy place right now and your comments helped. just wanted to say thanks. and yes, i know what your going through. unfortunately im worse now than then and EP has curtailed my downward spiral for the time being. im grateful for this site and everycomment I get like yours. thanks.

i just found this site a few minutes ago, and joined. i have felt just the way you do, still do every now and then, but i am finally getting better. lately i actually feel good about myself and my life more often than wanting to die. it has been a long uphill battle, which i shared with noone, until now. let me know if i can help you, it would be a gift to me for reasons too numerous to say now. i am very sincere and very grateful for this opportunity to help someone who needs someone.

Thanks for replying to me, everybody, it is really making me feel better to know that there are people who care, even though they don't know me. As for the reason why...um...I kind of don't know, kind of do. It's kind of stupid. It's a lot of things at once, and yet nothing at all. I should be happy. I've had it a lot worse before, and I know that there are a lot of people out there who have it way worse than me. It's stupid that I even feel bad, I know I should just try harder. I think I could pull out of it if I just tried harder...but whenever I do, and take a step forward, I just fall back again and get discouraged and start to want to not even try anymore. I am resisting hurting or killing myself because I know my husband loves me and that those things would upset him - at least, the self-injury upsets him - but sometimes I think that if I were going to kill myself, now would be the best time because he is still young enough to find someone else. We have only been married for a little over a year so I figure he could get over it pretty quickly. Hopefully, he'd realize that I was just a bother anyway - that way, I'd feel better knowing that he wouldn't be too sad. But I have been a lot more suicidal than this before, so I'll probably be okay, although I sometimes think that, even though I'm not as depressed as I used to be, I'm kind of worse off now, in a way, because I have enough energy and am impulsive enough to actually do something. Before, I was just so tired all the time...anyway, please don't worry about me or anything, I will be okay, I am doing my best...

Hi,I am sorry for your troubles right now.I offer my humble words of wisdom freely and without judgment.Anytime you need to chat or talk,I will be available.dontgetshocked at any of the messengers is where you can get with me.The glass really is half full.Please accept this hug. Dave

. . . . I just joined after reading this post. . . You don't know me, and I'm not sure what kind of advice I can give you, but in reading what you've written, the only thing I can say is in regards to something written in your post. . . I have my own problems and have dealt with . . well some of my own things, but you say that every time you take a step forward, you just fall back again. . . In time I've learned life is, and will always be this way. People fall, I fall. . It's not how far we fall, or how hard we hit, it's that we keep pushing on. The way we deal with our issues is what will pull us through, and the more we fight and struggle through without letting ourselves sink back down because of it, the easier things seem to get and we become stronger. . . . . I know I'm not perfect and I too fall, but deep down I know this is the answer. Maybe saying this helps me push through my own problems. We all hurt at times. Many of us are lonely and feel no one cares, there are all sorts of people and there are people who care. It's just finding the right ones and putting ourselves in the right situations. . . When you say that it'd be the best time to kill yourself because your husband would be young enough to find someone else and that he'd realize you were just a bother, . . just hits me in the wrong way. When you marry someone and you love them, to them, you would never be a bother. . Maybe he can't help you. . maybe he can? but one thing should be for sure, and that's that he loves you. . . or he wouldn't be with you. Try to look at yourself and find what makes you happy. . . Some things in life we can't change. Some pain will never go away. But happiness will come from at least beginning to discover yourself. Try to find what makes you happy no matter how hard it is. . I don't know your situation. I don't know what causes this unhappiness, but I know mine I can't change. I'm only beginning to let it go and Try to find my happiness. Or peace within? . .

I wanted to add; we can't change the past.. no matter how bad it was, no matter what mistakes we've made, but we can change the future. We have the power to make life what we wish. . First we have to know what we want. We have to accept things the way they are, and begin to take steps in the right direction. Figure out what you want. Take your time. Then take one step in that direction. . I've gone through a divorce I never thought I could. I loved him. I've seen things and been through things most people will never experience. I also know there is worse out there, but one day I looked at myself, saw who I was, and realized it's not who I wanted to be. It takes time to change and One step in the right direction will lead to another. Whether you fall again or not. Just pick yourself back up and never stop. Keep an open mind in life and be open. Try to enjoy it. It really is a gift. . I didn't believe that not so long ago, and once myself was suicidal. But I believe life can be better, and no matter how bad it is now, you have the power to make it better. Cut out what destroys you. The things that bring you down. We all deserve to be happy.

Hello, I'm feeling a little sad right now, because I don't want anyone to go through such pain, but I guess in life, all of us will. You are a special part of everything, so please don't let yourself or anyone else down by hurting yourself. Anytime you need to, talk to me. I'm not saying that I can resolve all your problems, but I will listen. I'll be your friend if you want me to be, no strings attached. Talk to me. Samharley

Do you not know, or are you embarassed to say? Im always afraid to say what's bothering me, but here it's fine, it's anonymous.

What's bothering you and causing you to feel like this?

I don't really know...<br />
<br />
thanks for replying to me, I appreciate it, I have never used this site before