The Worst Things In Life Are Also Free

HI MY NAME IS HAILEY MADISON LILY MOORE IM 21 YEARS OLD AND IVE BEEN VERY DEPRESSED LATLEY AND HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGHT SOME VERY TOUGH TIMES  WITH  MY FREINDS AND FAMILY  SO IM GONNA START FROM THE BEGGINGING AND TELL EVERYTHING I NEED TO  OK HERE GOES  I AM CURRENTLY AN ADOPTED CHILD AND I WAS ADOPTED BY MY GRANDMOTHER MY BIOLOGICAL MOM WAS MY GRANDMOTHERS DAUGHTER WELL WHEN I WAS LITTLE MY FREINDS USED TO ALWAYS TELL ME I WAS ADOPTED BUT ID DINT BELIEVE THEM THEY AND THERE PARENTS WOULD SAY  THATS YOUR GRANDMOTHER BUT I NEVER BELIEVED THEM ABUT THAT EITHER BUT IT TURNS OUT THEY WERE TELLING THE TRUTH ON MY THRITEENTH BIRTHDAY IW AS CALLED  ON THE TELEPHONE BY MY REAL MOTHER WHO I THOUGH WAS MY AUNT ALL ALONG MY GRANDMOTHER WAS SO FURIOUS BECUASE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TOLD I WAS ADOPTED EVER SHE BOUGHT ME ALL THESE GIFTS AND EVERYTHING TRYING TO SPOIL ME ROTTEN SO I WOULD NEVER FIND OUT  AND I WOULDNT GET SUPICIOUS AND ASK HER IF I WAS A DOPTED  THE WORSE THING I EVER WAS TOLD MY MY REAL MOM WAS THAT IF SHE AND HER SISTER TOLD ME I WAS A DOPTED MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD STOP ALL COMMUNICATION WITH ME AND THEM FOREVER  it wasnt right of my grandmother to do that to me then in grade two all the bullying a rumors began it was so bad a childs mother came to school threatening my on school property becyase  he daughter was telling her lies about me  also alot happened with this other girl as well i was the most ahted rejected and  isolated person in that skool by the time i had graduated even the kindergardeners didnt like me becuase there sisters and brothers in my class told them about it  ive never had freinds my enitre life theyve all came into my life and left a week later  my mother is thie biggest cause of all my depressin sadness and  thoughts of suicide shes so controling she would never let me do anything  with my freinds isolated me and when i was bullied she always said it was nothing i once went through an emtional crisis and all she saisd was get over get pover it could you believe that shes been the worse mother to me and still is  this woman is a nightmare i could tell you things about her that woukld make ur head spin round for hours on end when i was little she would insult my freinds before meeting them say **** about there parents  she would hit me if i didnt listen threaten to call the cops on me  threaten to call childrens aid threaten to hit my bare skin with a metal spoon if i didnt behave shed call me a **** a ***** a stupid ******* ***** everything she could think of  i was nothing but a problem to her that she was forced to love  she interfeered so much with my aunts children after her devorce that her ex husband who had all eight kids took them to brazil with his new wife as a missionarie to get as far away from my mother as possible and theyre never comeing back they wont talk to me as long as im living here and whats even worse i have brothers and sisters ill never see ever again becuase my mom made one mistake and married a childmolester who molested them a few months after there marrage my real mom i mean its awful i have 4 of them ill never see ever again my grandmother ruined a relationship with my bestfriend and i becuase her drama is way to much to handle noone in my family has the guts to talk to her becuase they dont like her one bit  she tells mey freinds all kinds of horrible things about me to get them to hate me  shes controling my facebook i swear to god that farmville game is the worst i dont like playing it so i had my mother for a little bit play it for me on my profile so my freinds could do this coop thing on it and get more points but once they were done i went to take it off and change my password you should have seen the fit she threw it was like watching a 2 year old with raging angry she cried like a baby yelled me out cussed me out and got my dad involved and becuase he didnt wanna hear her ***** he screamed at me and not her  i get blammed for everything that goes on at home  they kept saying if they get devorced its my fault shes always threatening me saying if i open my mouth one more time shes gonna go to jail for murder and im making her say it  shes out of her mind i was in college lastyear taking hairstyling my favortie thing in the world she was so bad during that too that  i couldnt sleep i was sleeping in class failing i couldnt focus and taking 400 every month off my paycheck to  go towards a car for me so when i decided i wanted to move to sturgeon falls 5 hours from here she was blazing mad took my money she was saving for me and said it was for rent  when i was in sturgeon she was calling the people i was living harassing them to send me home threatenign to commit suicicd e and dear lord it was a nightmare i called the cops three times on her and they took her side she raises remotes to me like she wants to hit me when shes angry ometimes i laugh to try and lighten her but she says shes gonna smack me for it shes constantly tryign to comtrol my life my relationships shes got my own uncle calling me a ******* stupid retatrd who knows nothing becuase shes angry with me wanting to be independant and live on my own i currently aplied for welfare to help out till i find a job and shes demanding 400 a month rent  and with the hundred left i have to but buy all my own stuff  and welfare here only gives you 500 max i can take it anymre i was kicked out of sturgeon by th e two people that i really needed in my life  and get this she has freinds that live there about ten mins away off the highway so everyday they would come into town and look for me to spy on my for my mother  i cant work in the work place becuase my hips are rotated iinwards and its ******* up both my les and knees to a paoin where there noodles when i run far distances they hurt all the tmie i cant relieve the pain and the only way i can get surgury to fix them is if i am a figure skater or a gymnastic person my doctor doesnt wann listen when i have somthing to ay doesnt care that i have serious problems i told him im starting to have depression and he laughed at me he tells my mother everything and asks me thigns that arent his buisness becuase my mom tells him lies my father is being an ashole towards me defending my mother when half the time i here him cussing walking back and fourth talking to himself  and whats worse my mother has got my aunt involved in all of this telling my mom my dads all these horrible things hes not shes wasting his pension money on her damn credit cards and my dads snappign at me cuz im broke with no money i hate it ive tried talking to a councellor but somehow my mom finds out and goes there then tells them im lieing to tell about what goes on at home  i cant use my facebook privatly without her knowing my password and being on there 24/7 literally playing that game all day im having trouble making and keeping freinds everyone here hates me and i dont know why i dont even know half these people but they sure know me highschool and college was no different i was so isolatedi was called a freak and weirdo and i wasnt  accepotd by my peers half the time i dont know what to say or do when with people becuase i fear it may be stupid or the wrong thing and i could have my *** kicked for it  i avent had a healthy relationship in 21 years  i never spoend quality time ith my mother becuase she pushes me away i dont feel loved by anyone and aunt doesnt seem to care nd doent wanna care becuase shes no longer talking to my mom i feel so alone and  its just getting worse and worse ive become so depressed its unreal ive had thoughts of suicide and whats worse ive attempted it once but  didnt succed i try to move out and world war 3 breaks out  hwith her crying throwing **** in my face saying im ******** on her and tons more  i want my life back and i cant talk to anyone with out her getting involved and makeing me feel like im the biggest ***** in the world i wish it would stop and i could just end it all  get on with my life and start repairing it  and begin to have a family of my own but with my 64 year old mother begin how she is its impossible theres so much more to this than anyone realizes its not funny please help what sould i do and how could i feel better

THANKS FOR LISTENING EVERYONE I APPRECIATE IT ALOT FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ME SOME ADIVCE OR YOUR OPINIONS ON THE SUBJECT THANKS ALL COMMENTS WELCOME
THANKS FOR LISTENIGN EVERYONE I APPRECI 
CrayolaStorm CrayolaStorm
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 13, 2010

thats was very kind and most helpful thank you so much for your opinion hugs ur the best and thank you for taking the time ot write me i feel ten times better than i did