I Need Some Advice...

I love my boyfriend but on three different occasions he has made me believe that he is cheating on me and I don't know for certain but what he did looks really bad.... I dont know what to do because i have no proof and i want to believe he is telling me the truth but i just have no trust for him and its ripping me up.
urbrsn4acrsn urbrsn4acrsn
3 Responses Jul 14, 2010

@ dreamzhunter: yeah right... and then you'd be favoring rapists because we're like other animals and are genetically.....?????? have you heard about things like self control, respect, trust, love.... ? no, like animals you cant 'think' can you?

Have you sat down and talked with him on how you feel? Maybe talking with him will help?

@ urbrsn4acrsn: I'm sure you must've tried to get another perspective from your close friends, and then ended up being confused or lost because of the number of things they said OR NOT. Like you said you LOVE this person, so I'll assume you wouldn't want to poison yourself against him over petty things. And that you do think he 'might' be cheating on you (the 3 occasions), well, he might be. Why? You're the one who loves him the most, knows him the best - so if you find anything odd (which you did already), different, unusual, or overwhelming about him, he might be. Listen to the gut feeling, don't neglect it. <br />
About the proof that you don't have and the trust that remains no more, step up honey, confront him/talk to him. You'd either end up strengthening your relationship for the good or breaking up for the better. Also, another thing to take care of is - you're feeling a certain way because of how your seeing things (feeling bad and cheated because of the 3 incidents) and that the conclusions you draw out of them are not always facts (he's cheating or he isn't).<br />
Problem is love impairs clear thinking. For a random person to be doing those things or having the 3 occasions you would've without a doubt said "that cheating bastard", but here it's someone you love so you have to ask yourself "was he really cheating?". see the bias here?<br />
as i said earlier, the best you could do is talk it out with him. then if you're convinced with his answer or if you aren't - you'd know what to do. but you cant keep beating yourself up over this. gotta do something about it.<br />
Happened to me, this woman i loved, she did things which was not her usual self. Told myself, no I am not gonna poison myself against the person I love...... neglected the gut feeling, the intuition and - ended up being cheated, hurt, humiliated....you name it.