I Just Dont Know

I am 23 years old. I have an almost 5 year old daughter and an almost 2 year old son. I have not lived a horrible life, but I have definitely had my share of problems. I have been engaged to my once best friend for a year now. We havent really discussed the wedding all that much and we havent really put any money aside for it. Everytime I try to talk to my fiance about the wedding he just seems uninterested. He says dont worry we will have a gorgeous wedding and everything will work out. But we have no plans, or ideas even. I am starting to feel very resentful towards him. To the point where I am not sure if I even want to get married. He works very hard to support our family and I appriciate it so much. But lately it seems that he never wants to spend any alone time with me. I dont know if I am going through a phase or just being extremely emotional. But I am feeling very lonely, vulnerable and hurt lately. As much as I tell him that I really just need to talk to him, he just seems to forget or ignore it. He says he loves me very much but he doesnt understand how it feels to be depressed. He tells me to get over it. I have no one else to talk to really. My friends all live over an hour away with lives and problems of their own. My sister doesnt care. Even my mother wont talk to me about anything other than my kids. I just feel soo alone.  
FrustratedFiance FrustratedFiance
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 16, 2010

Sweetheart<br />
It took me 11 years to convince the woman of my dreams that it would last and I indeed wanted to be with only her. Marriage is more then a piece of paper, its whats in your heart that counts. If in your heart you truly believe are already married to this man, then you are.<br />
You lead lives which would not be as fulfilling as if you were single. Maybe he is not ready to take the last step. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you with everything he has, it might just mean hes not ready for the piece of paper... <br />
Dont worry, if its good its worth waiting for, just relax and enjoy your time together. Talk about your fears and meet in a common area for to meet your COMBINED goals.<br />
Just a thought<br />
Jim

Hey CaresselsFabulous, your words are so true,,,but some times words seem to easy and one that is depressed really needs more comfort than that,,,,you know what I mean,,,,well anyway sister I am on here most everyday and I always answer my mail,,,,so feel free to talk to me anytime,,,I get so irrate sometimes in my own relationship,,,,and I can tell you that men are way to selfish when it comes to emotions,,,,Their God is full of emotions and passionate about the things that matter to me,,,,so mens reasoning behind not feeling as much as women do,,,,, is a lie and they all will pay for their lack of sharing what really goes on in their stupid little heads,,,,who do they think they are fooling anyway,,,not me,,,lol,,,,The men are suppose to be a reflection of God,,,and the women are suppose to be a reflection of the Goddess,,,so if that is true than tell me who is winning this war called the human experence,,,,God or Goddess,,,lol,,,,well I really thought they were on the same side,,,Love and Light you know,,,and the human race said we were fighting darkness,,,,I don't think so,,,,I think the human race is fighting the natual flow,,,and they can go,,,,,if you really think about all the stories that have been told,,,,God and Goddess were fighting in heaven and God kicked her out,,,,its not funny,,,its so real to me in my mind,,,,God did not like what he saw when he gazed apon his reflection,,,,reflecting back out at him,,,,ugly is ugly,,,and even God gets ugly,,,,we are all reflection of the Father and Mother,,,,in order for us to be all that they meant us to be,,,,we all have to reflect the real Love and Light inside,,,,read the word sister it really does edify your spirit,,,I do not believe that what you are really feeling is because of anyone out side of your selve,,,,you need to go within,,,and connect with the Father and Mother of heaven,,,really everyone in the world should do this,,,,breath and be the Father or Mother,,,heal the worlds broken hearts,,,by giving your selves wholily to the higher selves,,,,all the real power is in the vibration of that higher plain of reality,,,,well I hope that I have helped you in some way,,,if not make you laugh about what a trip I am,,,,sorry my mind thinks so far a head of my own mind sometimes,,,,Love and Light must unight,,,in order to heal all that is not real,,,,Mary