I am going through a pretty hard time right now. My boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend has been battling addiction for quite some time now and I am finding it extremely hard to see past all of the wrong he has done to me and the kids. I have tried really hard to put the past behind me and believe me there's a lot of past to put behind me, but sometimes I just find it very difficult to do so. When we do start to talk about things it always ends in an argument. I just want to try and get on with my life, but it seems like every time time I turn around I'm being hit with something else. I recently bought a house which should be a good thing (and it is), but I'm struggling financially. I'm in the process of looking for a 2nd job to bring me and the girls afloat, but at the same time it angers me that I am having to do this. I do know that putting aside some of this anger is probably a good idea, but it's always easier said than done.
anbfaou anbfaou
31-35, F
1 Response Jul 17, 2010

I am a widower. My wife struggled with addictions during the last part of her life. She went through rehab 3 times before she finally broke the chain of addiction to prescription pain killers. So I have an idea of what you are going through. If you would like to talk I am a good listener. Reality is you can not have an relationship with someone suffering from addiction. I know first hand. Their mind is clouded by the effects of the drugs and they can't make think clearly.Trying to rationalize with them is pointless. You are always wrong and they are always right. That is the way their minds work . He needs help. You can't help him. He has to make the decision that he needs help and that he wants help. My wife came to the decision when she got put in jail for possession of drugs. . I could of bailed her out but I didn't. It was a tough decision but I did it. I left her there for 30 days before I contacted her. I did this to give her time to think and time for the drugs to get out of her system (It takes up to 28 days for drugs for drugs to leave your system). After 30 days in jail I asked her if she was ready to get help. That was when she made the decision to get help. An outpatient 10 or 30 day program won't work. I know she tried it and she was back on drugs after only a few weeks of completing the program. What got her clean was a 6 month program in a lock down facility that was court ordered. I hope it works out for you and your children. It takes both parents to raise children. They need mom AND dad. But they don't need a dad that is suffering from addiction. Remember this--If he commits a crime because of drugs there is a possibility that the court could put them in foster care if the two of you are together. So you need to make a decision. What is more important being with him or being with your children? That is what it comes down to. I hope you chose your children. They should always come first.