Really Don't Know Where To Start!

My problems seem so small or others out there, but they are big to me!
I really need someoen to talk to who would kinda understand me or give advise, my family dont want to know and my friends do think of me as some one who is dipressed.. i feel as if im loosing who i am, either that or im bangin my head against a brick wall constantly!

I surpose it all started... well to be honest i dont know how it started.
There are so many things, i surpose i should just start ar number 1!!

1) the normal moan, WORK! but i work for my families haulage business and i was given the reigns just over 2 yrs ago, all was going great untill, my mother decided to work for another comany, everything is going wrong,( btw its not another haulage firm) no one wants to listen to me, im trying to tell them if we dont buck up were gonna go under, i feel as if im not wanted, so i looked for a new job, i got one and my mom and step dad did their nut at me, saying i dont care, Iv put my heart , blood, sweat and tears into this bussiness for them, and get no thanks, I sacrfised everythign for them... even greaving for my dad when he died!
I work a 70+ hr week for them and havnt been paid in 3 months! Its behond a joke now! i surpose it a form of emotinal blackmail???!!!
Everytime i try to do something or help, i get shot down, iv had enough! I cant aford to go but cant aford to stay! :(

Okay 2)
My auntie who ok i didnt have that much to do with, died just over a wk ago! ( Still no time of work, was told to suck it up)
She had non hokinson lympoma, she fought for so long, but when it came to her having a bone marrow transplant, it all went wrong! Dont get me wrong, the transplant went better then the doctors expected, but the infections she got.... Well they had to put her in a coma and they could get her to come out of it!
I feel if they would have made her awaer of the risk she would have done it! She always talked about the thing she wanted to do, and now will never got the chance, the doctors never told her the risks of doing this!!

3) just life in general

Everybody thinks and sees me as a happy go luck type of girl.... I fed up of it! I cant keep it up much longer!!!!
I not happy, and don't know where to start to change.... Iv tried so many things but again get shot down, I am a ditermened person, but after so long of this its started to get me really down!

I know most people blame it on their perants, but I wouldnt blame it on my dad, he was king to me, its unbeliale how much i miss him.... My mum re-married 6months after my dad died! I was only 15 at the time!!

My mum is a right one as my dad would have said! I have any older sister who refuses to talk to me or any of the family because of our mum! As much as i try.. shes still our mum, but no on e deserves to go thou what she put us thou!

charliegirl24 charliegirl24
3 Responses Jul 19, 2010

If your family is ******* you around and not paying you, my strong recommendation is to leave and put your foot down, no matter how badly they treat you for it. They're consuming you. I went through something very similar with my mother, who tried to take over my entire life, including not letting me finish high school or, once I finally did, get a job, escape her place, or go to college. She was using me for her business, and I was very helpful. But no matter how much I did or sacrificed, she hated me for what I didn't do. When I finally escaped, asserted myself, and eventually had to stop talking to her altogether, things got much better. Please don't let your family consume you or your potential.<br />
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As for appearing happy-go-lucky, I know that feeling, too. Sometimes people tell me how cheerful I look when on the inside I'm ready to leap off a building. It used to startle me. Then I started putting more and more effort into making my outside and inside match. I lost a few friends, but I gained a lot, too. I learned to cry to my friends, even to cry in public. I learned to look upset when I am upset. I learned that it's okay to feel how I really feel...because the people who really matter, not the people who'd just have me be exactly what they demand instead of me, love me for who I am.<br />
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You can get through this. It sounds like it's time for some very big changes. I know they're trying to make you feel horrible, but there comes a time when you've got to stand up for you. I promise, one strong woman to can do this.

Well first of all you seem to have a good heart, and that said your mum knows this and is using it ageanst you, trust me i'm in that situation right now with my mom. I'm sorry that your dad past away and your mom remarried 6 months after. For your families haulage business that you used to work for, if your the one thats in charge of it all then they have to lission, but if they don't I would have done the same thing you did and then tell them you tried to ask for help but they refused to help you out when in need. A family comes together in time of need and they are not doing that the don't want to deal with it and leave it to you to handle. I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt and I agree that if anyone knew that there is a good chance of not coming back then they wouldn't have done it in the first place, and for the doctor to not to tell her that, then it's his fault for miss understaning of the pationt and should have the athorites talk to him/her about it. Life will be life, you come in this world not stressed and then you grow up and it gets harder as you grow. Live life as if today is going to be the last day you have, no regrets, don't look back just keep moving forward. Life has it's way of working out, there is a reason for everything but we might never know why or how but we just go and think we will find out the awnser. I hope I have helped in some kind of way.

Well, at least your life is better than mine, so maybe that'll make you feel better. I graduated from High School a couple of months ago and have done almost nothing since then. I do nothing and I don't even amount to a pimple on society's ***. At least you actually DO stuff, and contribute to the world, unlike me.