Im Not Sure What To Think

I have been dating this guy that I work with for a short period of time he is 32 years old and I'm 21. I caught on very soon that he was a jelouse and insecure person but it didn't bother me at first. Ever since we started dating other coworkers have been spreading rumors tryin to start problems so the first couple weeks were rough but we were getting through it. Then a couple nights ago we decided to stay at his house and buy some drinks. After a while of drinking we started to talk about all the rumors that were going around at work and I told him about a rumor a friend had told be about some kind of bet dealing with me and he got very angry that I wouldn't tell him who had told me. We were in the hot tub and the fight was getting bad so I got out and he followed me and grabed me by my wrist and when I told him he was hurting me he perposly made it hurt worse. He kept asking me who told me the rumor but I wouldn't tell him because I didn't want to get anything started between him and my friend...and when I still wouldn't tell him he got furiouse and grabed me by my throat and pushed me against the house and wouldn't let me go at one point he sqeezed really hard but then he let me go and followed me into the bedroom still yelling at me. I got dressed n sat on the bed and the argument got really bad and I slaped him in the face for grabing my throat. He let it go for a while untill I still wouldn't tell him my friends name and then he pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me n started screaming at me. He could tell I was scared and he said he wasn't going to hurt me but then seconds later he slaped me hard in my face twice. He got up and was drinking his drink and I got up and started screaming at him for hitting me like that and I hit his hand with his drink in it sending it flyin into his face he turned around and slaped me as hard as he could knocking me onto the bed. Then the next day he said he didn't remember hitting me and that wasn't him and he was really sorry. But he said he did remember grabing me by my throat and he didn't seem sorry for that. I know I have my own fault in the physical contact but I'm kinda wondering if he would ever hit me again and if he thinks its ok. I am completely in love with him and don't want to leave and it only happened once and we are looking at houses tomorrow I guess I'm scared that if we move in together it will get worse. I just need someone elses oppinion that doesn't know either of us personaly. So any input would be greatful.
morgan100 morgan100
7 Responses Aug 8, 2010

Morgan, we care and would hope you would keep sharing? would you like to tell us about your feelings on our advise? Hope your safe, I am kind of living though you, in a strange kind of way, you ar my therapy, well to be clear. I have a friend whom I love, and she is in a mess like you discribed, and I have been asked not to but in" anymore. So untill he woops her ***, but good, and he will. I have to, once he does, his *** is mine. So hope your listening? and considering the advise?

morgan100,<br />
<br />
Update? What is going on with you and this boy? What do you think? What have you been doing? Have you stayed? Have you left? Did you move in with him? <br />
<br />
What is the deal?

Morgan, I want you to know that if he has done anything more than put his hand in front of you, and ASKED you to please dont leave, and ASKED you to please stay and talk to him, if he has done half of what you discribed in your story, He is Dangerous! Plain and clear, if a woman gets into an argument and at any time resorted to hitting, another girl, or a man, she does it because she thinks it is OK to do so. She was raised to believe hitting was OK, she has in her head that Hitting when you are angry is OK. You BOY friend is just that, a BOY! he will not change, you can not cure him, he will not stop hitting you after you move in together, and he will not stop hitting you after your married, because he no longer has to feel jelouse, cuz your "his", then. He thinks you are his! now, and you must do as he says, or he hits! Grabbing you alone is enough indication that he will get worse, not better. If he has a chance of getting "fixed", it is not with you, he will never, EVER! stop hitting you. You have lived your life in a family or atmasphere that makes you think it is OK to have these kind of fights, havent you? Other wise you would have gotten out of there at the first sign of his anger getting out of controle. Him saying he was sorry, and that he didnt remember doing what he had done, was a God Damned Lye! Boyfriend grew up watching his old man, brothers etc...beat the crap out of thier woman, and it was all knocked up to being drunk it was OK. Plainly it comes down to this. I dont care what happens, I have cought my X in bed with my best friend(I did not hit iether one) I have cought her cheating, red handed out on the town with another man(I did not hit or threaten her, him yes, but did not touch him because he was scared) I'm 6-5 250 lbs. and have been in more than one War Zone, I can kick the crap out of any one. I'v been very angry, and hurt, and even furiouse! But I have never laid a hand on a woman, and very few times have I done so to a man, who was not hurting someone else. A man iether has it made up in his mind that Hitting a woman is iether OK or out of the realm of acceptable actions. Your Boyfriend believes it is OK, so tell your friend in public that you will never alow him to speak with you outside of work, and that if he gives you any crap, you will expose him for the Coward and Dirtbag he is. And if you dont have a big brother, or the gentleman above isnt free to step in? reply to me, I'll stand in for him. Get out NOW!

If he hit you once he WILL do it again! I can relate to your story. I stayed with a man who did some of the same things to me. He told me he did it because he cared so much about me that he let his emotions take over but in reality he was just a bad guy looking for someone to take and keep taking his ****! Please get out before you get hurt!

RUN!!! Don' look back!<br />
<br />
Why didn't you call the police? He assaulted you!<br />
<br />
If he is treating you like **** after only a short while....what do you think he will be like in a year?...two?...five?...ten...? HELLO YOUNG LADY; get yourself safe and get AWAY from him.<br />
<br />
Imagine your best girlfriend was telling you this story....what would you say to her? <br />
<br />
I hope you would tell her to RUN!

holy sh--. No way in hell you move in with this psycho. Girl I guarantee if someone at work found out about this (like a guy like me), sh-- would be taken care of. You are 21, I promise you there are a million guys that you can date and won't pull that sh--. Run, run fast and I hope you have a brother. If not, I''l be happy to stand in.

Please get away from this guy ASAP!!!!it will not get better for you ! Trust me I was in a bad marriage and physically emotionally abused for years! Your young and I know how hard it is when you live in the moment. Yes people with BPD pick these kinds of relationships in out lives over and over. We think if we focus on the other persons problem and try to fix them,suddenly ours aren't that bad. But that way of thinking and those actions will go nowhere. I really thought I could fix my ex and I thought he loved me . I was in his cage for so long. I really was trapped . One night I was so sad and lost in emotion I started to cut my leg up with a razor. he caught me in the bathroom and said he would help me. He left and came back with a small towel in his hand. He put it on my wounds and then I could smell it and my legs was burning with pain. I didn't know he poured bleach on that towel. It was one of the worst days of my life. Please don't let this or anything like it happen to you! Be strong and get away while you still can!