I Really Need Someone To Talk To..

My life story is so long that i wont even try to put it on here but to sum it up i have two older siblings and when i was young my father was my primary care giver even though him and my mom were together..he took me everywhere did everything for me that i want, i was daddy's girl and my mom never wanted anything to do with me, she always did things with my sister & brother, but it never matter to me cause i had my dad. september 12th, 2001 my dad died and i was left with my mom and over the years it has became quite clear to me i was never wanted by her, i am diagnosed with schizoprhenia, bipolar disorder, mild ocd, and an anxiety disorder, so im not the perfect child but my brother and sister always had anything and everything they wanted and i got the bare necessities and was constantly told how bad and stupid i was. When i turned 15 i met my current boyfriend and when i turned 17 we got pregnant and i moved in with him until my daughter was 3 months old, but he has some "anger issues" so i had to move back in with my mom. i thought things would be different because through my whole pregnancy she was so nice to me, she bought me nice maternity clothes, took me out to eat, called me everyday to check on me and she would constantly ask me to move back in, she promised to help me get my ged and a car and i license so i could get a job but now that i moved back in here things have got progressively worse im told how i dont do anything right with my child and she is going to grow up and hate me, she will look at my daughter constantly and say"mama mean" trying to get her to say it
that was long but that is just the gist of it there is so much more, i dont know what to do, im misserable have been most of my life but i jsut cant do it anymore, i want to move out but my mom has made it almost impossible and i have thought about taking my life but i my daughter would probably go to my mom and i would never want her to go throught the things i have had to go through i really really need someone to talk to, someone just to listen to me for once and not tell me everything that is wrong with me..i just need a friend

smileshihi smileshihi
18-21, F
5 Responses Aug 10, 2010

hi i am new, you can speak to me about anything my best friend called me her angel that is why i am on this site to help people

Mental health issues usually run in families....so perhaps your mother see's some of her own "issues" in you, which might explain why she's always pushed you away. You don't mention if you are on medication and/or in therapy for the bi-polar, etc.....because if you're not, getting the correct medication/dose can really make a difference in how you feel and how you feel about the world around you......and finding a therapist that will help monitor your medications and talk with you about your feelings and WHY you might be feeling things can also be really helpful. You are very young and have your entire life before you....and you have a young child that you KNOW you don't want to be raised by your mother. Take the high road and get yourself on the right track...whatever that takes! You need to be there to make sure you're child has the best life possible. I'm here for you and will help you find local resources if you'd like. Asking for help is often the hardest, but first step Good Luck

i can bee a friend too i need some........ i have 2

I agree totally with the above post. You do not want to leave your child like that and I know you can be strong for her cus you love her. Just because you are not perfect doesnt mean you mother has a right to treat you like that. I am very sorry for the loss of your father. I too lost my mom to cancer almost a year ago and its tuff. Of course our situations are not the same but I do know how it feels to loose a part of your life which was your father. Its easy for me to tell you to hang in there and keep going especially for your daughter but I have to say it. Let her be your strength and courage through all this and dont give up!

Well I can be a friend. I am here if you want to chat, lets see how it goes? Its up to you, just dont forget that the whole take your life thing, is most likely a death sentance for your daughter as well, see lots of people have a thought of doing it, some give it a half assed try, in hope of getting attention or help. The ones that succeed, do two dumb things, one lose out on a chance to have a happy life, and two, give thier child a tool that makes it easyer for them to do the same thing when things get tough, you look at your parents on how to cope. When she looks at you, she will see death, and will be likely to do the same. So dont! it is the weakest thing you could do.