Purpose Of LifeMy story might help - I was in a similar situation and I found a way out.
I went through a really bad phase in my life. To cut a long story short I was on the verge of suicide but something always stopped me - I had allot of questions about life - What is the purpose of life - If there is no purpose I might as well kill myself now and be free from a life full of pain and suffering.
I had to do a lot of soul searching and reflecting. My first conclusion led me to believe that we are not here on earth without a purpose - Everything around us has been created so perfectly there MUST be a higher power who put everything into existence. I reflected on the purpose for everything, Night & Day, The Sun the Moon, Eyes, Hands, Ears, Vegetation, Animals, Cattle, Insects, Why out of all creations only Humans have such an intellectual brain and the ability to communicate. - This led me to believe that everything around us was created for US to live and use. I also pondered allot on why Humans have emotions, Where are we going - Why do all Human beings die - We are not on earth for ever - Does the journey end there? Surely not - then what is purpose of our existence? To Live then to just Die? ?.
The fact that I actually thought all the above shows that Human Beings have been given an amazing ability - To Reflect. To use this ability to CRITICALLY THINK. - No other creature on earth can do that. The moment we stop critically thinking and just live- is when we start to live a life of animals - To eat, drink, reproduce and sleep, Wake, eat, sleep, ..........etc. Whilst trying to have fun all the time.
Reflecting on life itself really expanded my horizons and made me into a new person - The ability to reflect is such a powerful one it can really expand your mind and take you into a new realm of thinking.
Ok God you are out there definitely - Why have you put us on earth? What will happen to us when we die? What is the purpose of my life? Have you given anything to guide mankind on earth?
Why are there so many religions on earth? Why do people kill in the name of religions? One of them must be from you. One of them must be the truth. The others must be man made. - I started doing deep research on religions. One of them must allow me to connect with You and please You my Creator.
I prayed Night and Day to God to guide me for a long time. I knew god can hear me and I figured that He wanted me to see all religions for myself so that when I finally found the truth I would be able to recognise it and have deep faith in it.
I checked many religions, The Buddhist religion didn't make sense because if I am reborn and I change souls, what was the purpose of each different soul? Will I keep on being reborn for an eternity? What will happen when the earth will perish ( Scientist have proven the Sun will run out of energy and as it is the earth energy source, earth will perish) - Where will we go then? There are no answers to these questions in this religion so I moved on. I Knew that the true religion would have answers for ALL my questions.
Hinduism was too complex - As was their concept of God. I knew right away this couldn't be Gods message. Also the concept of bowing down to an idol really didn't appeal to me as worship of god.
I read a book on Islam in the library - It was the first book I saw. - Muslims are arabs who worship the moon god and bow to a black box in the middle of a desert - they have to kill all non believers and have to marry four wives - without needing any further research I knew straight away this couldn't be a religion of god.
I checked out Judaism and this religion really made sense to me - The religion is a way of life - God would know best how we should live our lives . There is One God, Who is too powerful and magnificent to be part of his creation and is in the heavens, Thus Unseen. We have to worship god and pray to him. And an afterlife after we die - And followers of this religion go to heaven while disbelievers go to hell. They are the chosen people- Then why is the whole world going astray why is not everyone a Jew - Shouldn't we be spreading Gods message to everyone. I then found out that conversion to Judaism is allowed but it is discouraged....and discouraged to spread the message... What the....???? Why is Judaism an exclusive club - something isn't right there - Gods religion should be universal for everyone to follow.
I researched Christianity - It seemed to be a "dumbed down" version of Judaism - i.e. Not as extreme as Judaism, It felt really lenient and easy going. The message has to be spread to the whole of mankind. The concept of God having a Son arouse many many questions in me -
Why would God have a son - What is the purpose of that? I asked many religious authorities but none could answer that question but with a simple - "god wanted it and it happened" Ok...- Does that then make Jesus a God ? Is he as powerful and Almighty has god?? Nobody knows. Why did Jesus die? Is God so cruel to let his own son die?? Why cant he just forgive Mankinds sin without allowing his ONLY son to die. - Wouldn't Jesus be powerful enough like his Father to stop people from killing him? Why would he need to come down on earth - So many questions I had and nobody had the answer - The concept of the trinity didn't make sense either - 1 is 3 and 3 is 1. Woah wait so then Jesus is THE god? No. then is Jesus a third of the 1 god? No. It was too complex - most of the relegious authorities told me to just have faith in the concept. I dont like the idea of blind faith - there is a reason for everything. I knew that if god existed then his concept would be very simple to understand. At this stage I had researched most religions and I had reached the conclusion that if god religion was out there - It has either been corrupted or I had missed it. I kept believing in God at this stage and praying to guide me to his religion and open my heart to it. - If not then I prayed to god that when I die to have mercy on me with whatever comes next.
I was broke and I had to support my family so I started to sell drugs to make a fast buck. My friends who I was working with knew I was looking for the truth so we used to constantly debate religions. My friend who is African American and also a drug dealer walked into the room and heard what we were talking about and told me why don't you check out Islam - I laughed at him and told him I already know all I need to know about Islam it is no way a religion of god. He then told me he was a muslim - he admitted he was not a relegious muslim but he knew it was the truth. I told him to stop joking, muslims are only Arabs and least of all drug dealers. I told him what I had read about Islam and he told me that isn't true and I should check it out again. He invited me to the mosque for Friday prayers where I met the Cleric and he started inviting me to Islam - he told me if I had any questions and he wanted a conversation with me - I rudely put him off and told him no and all I asked was "do you have a book ??" If this is a true religion the book should speak for itself. He handed an English translation of the Kor'an. I observed their Friday prayer and saw them prostrating and bowing. From my research - Men of god prayed similar to this. I figured out that these people were actually "worshipping" God.
I read the Kor'an and came across all the biblical prophets and that their message to mankind was to worship One god. Jesus was a prophet and so was Moses who had the same message to worship One God only.- which is why Christianity and Judaism made so much sense to me. I kept reading and the following weekend I accepted Islam - When I took my testimony of faith - I cried so much - I felt something peaceful really deep in my heart that I had never felt before. I had finally found what I was looking for and till this day I am still grateful to God to guiding me. I still remember that day vividly - It has been four years, and the best four years of my life. It has been a long journey and I never thought in a billion years that I would ever embrace this religion ba
I know you are looking for inner peace and a way out- try reading the Kor'an with an open mind and heart and you May find it just the way I have.