All That I Asked For Was A Little Bit Of Love...

I have been in a relationship with my college mate for a year and eight months now.. for the past 3 months, he has been humiliating me for every fault of mine.. letting nothing go.. i am a very independent person and have let go a lot for his sake.. we have broken up a lot of times, each time he comes and begs me to go back to his life. there are moments of extreme happiness with him but those have in recent times become too few and too less. My friends have only one solution to this. They ask me to move on and rid my self of the grief... i Somehow can't.. I am sick of the tears, of the helplessness.. My Self respect has been flushed down the drain and my identity is in danger of getting lost
lonelyidiot lonelyidiot
4 Responses Oct 21, 2011

Wow Brainyblonde hit it out of the park on all levels! Every word she very valuable! Take a hint from someone who stayed in and out of that relationship 18 argue and fight means there is something left to fix and from the sounds of it there is nothing left of YOU! Fight for yourself and remember this will be insufficient ten years from now! Move on while you are young!

You're scared that you'll lose yourself if you're not with him? Just from your story, it sounds like you have already lost some of yourself just by being with him. I've been in a similar situation before. Its easier to kind of smooth over the rough patches of the relationship and only focus on the few positive moments of happiness. Its not easy to let go, especially when you love the person and you've been in a relationship for a substantial amount of time. But you have to love yourself first and put yourself first. Find out who you are without him. Its so dangerous to have your self identity wrapped up in someone else. You can talk to him and tell him how you feel, but if he continues to humiliate you and you stay with him, you will further spiral down into a shell of the person you used to be. Believe me, I know. Sometimes you have to say, I love myself more than I love him. Like I said before, its not easy but you have to make yourself number one in this situation. I can only hope that you find some peace during this time of your life.

what do you mean by "inviting him to have input?" I love him still.. as much as i used to when i first met him.. and i am scared il lose myself if i am not with him... Thanks a lot for commenting....

lay some ground rules down that are mutual. invite him to have input but if you feel they are too much let him know. if he feels yours are too much he may have to confess why & this will give you some insight hopefully on if he is worth your time in the long run.<br />
it sounds to me you are loosing yourself & you have given up too much. what has he done? has he done the same? if so why? ask him. i think you need to know.<br />
when a relationship is all about changing each other i think it can be toxic unless it is for good reason.