I Feel So Alone

i was in a really bad domestic violence situation for 4 long, hard years. i have a son to a previous relationship and a daughter to that toxic relationship. 3 years ago, i took my kids and left my whole family and everything i owned behind, with the exception of 1 bag of clothes, and one photo of my kids. i was silent about the abuse for so long that i have found it very hard to talk about since i escaped. i have recently started seeing a councellor and i have finally, been ablee to get out those demons that are inside my head and heart. i thought it would make me feel better, but it seems that i have been re traumatised because when i talk about it, i am reliving it. my councellor says that i am making progress, and although i know that logically, what she says is true, i feel wretched and really upset sometimes. yesterday was really bad for me, which is why i found this group. i just want someone to talk to, who can understand what im going through. some people in my family have told me to get over it, but they dont understand because they have always been domineering towards me. i am just sick of being trodden on and i dont know what else to do. anyone  who can understand, please talk to me. i am also a good listener. i am studying to be a councellor, so i can help with some peoples problems too.  
lajs lajs
31-35, F
5 Responses Jan 7, 2012

I thought i would never feel happy,safe or alive again, but I do, despite the scars, and the nightmares, which sometimes haunt me.<br />
. It will get easier, as time goes by, and you are very courageous, going through therapy to help you deal with the memories of your abuse. Brave lady!

When you first start to relive your trauma its like opening up a can of worms, but the more you open up the less stressful it becomes. You have to remember that nothing can hurt you now, you have been through the worst. Push through the terapy and dont give up, it does get better, I can telll you that from experience. To help others you will first have to help yourself, your studies will also help you understand what you are going through and how to deal with it. Im sure there are ways you can get more counselling if you want it!! message me if you need any help in looking for things!

i hear what you're saying about the therapy, the experience will always be with you but dont let it define you for the rest of your life, you're not a waste of space awaiting sadness forever. Find a sport or activity in which you are in control, its a great feeling to feel like your really strong at something it could rub off on other parts of your life.

OMG! I am in shock because I could literally have written this story myself. I just got on this site for the first time tonight. I am exhausted from more than average sadness and rejection from my mom 2nite who did nothing to protect me from abuser and seems to be his friend. So I hope to get in touch with you very soon.

im glad to find someone who understands. i too have a really bad mother, who made things harder, for me with him. she didnt like him though and she made it obvious which made him have another reason to be nasty to me. i would love to chat with u. im only new to this site myself, so im not sure how to send a friend request but i will try. hope to chat soon.

I'm always around here somewhere if you want or need to talk ......Peace L

thanks. i will