I Need Someone to Talk to

...my Soul Is Dying. I Need To Talk To People.

By: ladylilith

Written on February 16th, 2012

Let me say that I am sorry for the things I am about to say. I just have no one to talk to and I am very lonely. I just turned 25 and I should be worried about finding a job and learning what I want but I am sadly stuck in my house. I am an agoraphobic. It's my anxiety that makes my stomach hurt which makes me very uncomfortable because I am scared to death of throwing up. Something happened where I had the biggest panic attack of my life and had to quick my job and school when I was 20. I've missed weddings, family trips, and worse of all I am missing my life. Anyway I live with my older brother and sister and my mom and dad. Its seemed they have all decided to abandon me, not trying to understand anything I've been going through. I just want someone to talk to. I have no friends anymore and I am a people person. Its so hard to only have the space in the house that is my world but because I have people all around me here and they mostly ignore me I am confined even more to my room. I just want a friendly person to talk to. I feel so embarrassed to even have to do this but I feel like my soul is dying. I need to talk to someone else besides myself. I like the 80's a lot and a lot of 50's and oldies music. I love movies too. I play piano sometimes to release my stress and I like to write children's stories and music. I hope this finds some new friends. Thank you for reading my story.

Michelle

By: ladylilith

Age: 22-25

3,489 people have read this story

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92 responses

santhualone

Hi me tooo feeling like ths everyday, even me also no friends, no one except god no one is thr 4 me. Will u be my friend.

May 14
1 like
SimplyRaining

I'll be your special listener. I want to talk with you very, very much. I am Don in Georgia. the sooner the better. I am here online

May 14
1 like
tigualil

hi. my name is lilith. i can certainly understand how a person can become agoraphobic in this world. i am not far from being one. and many people are agoraphobic in some degree. there is no support anywhere you turn and all paths can be a deception. but i like to socialize and i have been enough places in the world to know that other societies socialize freely, without being hypersensitive to being offended or offending someone else. what i have found, quite by accident, is that one thing i have is that i will not apologize for loving someone. it is a gift to be able to love someone. it is hard to find love and most are busy hardening their hearts. my family members were totally hard hearted. so, since i have a heart i am working on growing that love. i am trying to be a love generator. people are starved for love and so i am doing a public service :) music can help generate love. so can children's books. don't know if this offers you any inspiriation. friends are hard to find and i will pray you find some and that you will love them and cherish them. love, lilith

May 6
1 like
- SimplyRaining
  Grow your love from your heart to mine. I'm a loving generous man when it comes to Love
  
  May 14
  1 like
NadisAngel

Your so brave. Regardless of ANYTHING... Your so brave. You just gave me a little strength

May 4
1 like
monster10

hey ...
1st thank you for being brave writing your story ... sorry, I didn't see your post earlier ... I also like a musik from 80' ties.... if you need to talk I am always available...

May 4
1 like
ManishLogan

It's good that you are coming out of closet and are trying to find people to talk to. Hope you will find someone who will listen to everything you have got to share.
I can try to be there, but I can't promise being around all the time.

May 3
1 like
bluedragon2112

Lets talk. :)

Apr 6
1 like
cs15A

You need to face your fears.
You sounds like you could be a really cool gal to know
If you can overcome and face your fears.
I wish you love and laughter

Apr 4
1 like
- ladylilith
  Clearly its not just a matter of me facing my fears or I would have done that by now. This is not like I just feel so scared to do a report for work or get up in front of a bunch of people.
  
  Apr 19
  1 like
Slekkoo

I feel the same, dealing with being single is one thing, but next to that I don't have any friends.. its really painful and scares me sometimes when I think it wont change, why would it?
Im an optimistic person, I doubt Ill let this bother me for long, everyone hurts sometimes and it feels more and more tough to deal with it the moe it happends, ahh life <3

Feb 4
2 likes
- ladysypit
  Just by posting regarding change, change occurs. People we meet give us new ways to think about issues and even if they give us old ways to think about things at least it gets us thinking :)
  I was given some advice by a near and dear friend: (her grandmother gave her this advice)(credit where credit is due :) ), Simply put if the world were to end tomorrow would what is bothering you be that big of a deal? If the world doesn't end tomorrow then you have survived another a day :)
  Or something like that :)
  I have learned that if I am not comfortable with myself than a lot of things get me down, once I accepted me, and became comfortable with just me I realized what a true treasure the few friends I have are to me. My mother says I am cultivating friends now the quality not quantity is what counts :).
  Blathering now ended, hope any of this helps.
  
  Feb 11
  1 like
hanbassi

i see you have got so many friends after you wrote your story.. but if you still need someone to talk to i would be grateful to be your friend and hope i can help or make you happy...

Jan 28
2 likes
tanatma

Please talk to someone positively. Appreciate someone. That's the only way that people will respect you and appreciate you.

Jan 6
1 like
- ladylilith
  I do talk to people positively but that doesn't mean it gives me people to talk to. I don't have friends because I am stuck in my house.
  
  Apr 19
  1 like
Kimber74

I'm slightly older than you...I will be 39 on the 28th
The thing is since I lost my son...I lost myself
He was murdered 10/09/10
My family kinda tried to be there by answering the phone sometimes when I call.
My job FIRED me....
But I fought for it back
But I can't fight for myself to live pass my grief...I do try
But if something else is bothering me...
I always think of my son!!

Jan 3
1 like
- ladylilith
  I'm so sorry that is beyond horrible. I would hug you if I was there! **HUGS**
  
  Apr 19
  1 like
anwar971

Hi,
You need to talk, I need to talk,
Just do it
Waiting for your response

Dec 29, 2012
1 like
loveispatient34

Hello Ms. Lady - if you want to talk about anything - you are more than welcome to send me a message :-)

Dec 26, 2012
1 like
peteres

i am ready to do friendship with you

Dec 14, 2012
1 like
hitoribochi89

I wouldnt mind a friendly chat myself :)

Dec 14, 2012
1 like
Shaunranks

Sounds like younhave plenty of people willing to talk choose ur friends wisely, good luck, and Im pulling for you :)

Nov 22, 2012
1 like
ladysypit

Hi there,
I am only mildly agoraphobic. I have multiple stress disorders and gut issues as well.
On the days when my brain is warring with my soul I will just open the windows, I step just outside my door, one foot in and one out.
I hope if you can concur your malady and if you need an eye to read your worries I am here. :)
p.s. I have been dealing with this issue for 20 years or more.

Nov 18, 2012
1 like
- ladylilith
  I have the one where its beyond extreme agoraphobic. Sorry you have any form of it. It really sucks. I admire the people who have it and can still live life. I cant be outside for to long or I start to hyperventilate.
  
  Apr 19
  1 like
Dave0921

Aww you can talk to me

Nov 17, 2012
1 like
badboybenny

hi michelle,
sounds like your going through a tough time :( have you sought professional help/advise, is your family supportive, hang in there everyone goes through a tough patch remember your not alone i went through 5 years of hell and you never forget it. try and stay positive and when you come through you will be a stronger person, surround yourself with good people you trust and try and smile..

Nov 12, 2012
2 likes
- ladylilith
  Yes I have have called every therapist around me and every time it is well you have to get here for me to help you and I'm like thats my problem I cant get to you that's why I need your help. There isn't anyone I have heard of that will help me or try to even. Its not like I don't put myself out there I do. There just isn't options for someone like me. One of my fillings in my tooth fell out 3 weeks ago and I still haven't worked up the strength to be able to go to the dentist. Its the life of a server emetaphobic agoraphobic.
  
  Apr 19
  1 like
upper123

you can talk to me if you wont

Nov 9, 2012
1 like
tegen

do you want to talk to me

Nov 9, 2012
1 like
taylorevans

i cant say i know what your going through but im a good listener and i like a good chin wag to anybody my child hood was not so great but what has happend has kind of helped me to be the person i am today im 24 married with 2 children if you wanna chat dont heasatate to add me btw im a bad speller lol

Nov 7, 2012
3 likes
selski

Hi Ladylilith , I'll be your friend if you want. I don't get out much either and in my late teens and early twenties , I lived with my family , those days I didn't socialize , I missed out on being a teenager. But I'm kinda glad , but I do get lonely and I'm not sure what to do with myself. I like the eighties too , I was an eighties child and I write poetry sometimes.I just glanced at other replies , seems like other people are in the same boat

Nov 2, 2012
3 likes
Samster23

Hi michelle, i may not understand what yer goin through but i can always try to help. im here whenever you need someone to talk to even if you just want someone to listen without a word, i hope things turn around fer you and i wish you the best. Be strong and hold in there

Oct 31, 2012
2 likes
Luna05

Hi Michelle I need someone to talk to too. Maybe we can IM or something?

Oct 31, 2012
2 likes
confusdnlost

I too am wasting my life, im still in college but rarely go in, my family doesnt understand either and i dont know how to fix myself, when i do go out i do stupid things and lock myself away again just because i dont know how to deal with people and especially men. I am 24 and i feel like im trapped in the body of someone who is not me. i know i need professional help but my family wouldn't let me get it a few years ago when i tried to kill myself they just covered it up. So i know how u feel and i hope u find the help u need i too love the 1950s its an area i look at a lot in my art practice :)

Oct 28, 2012
1 like
tirsty1981

Hey, Don't worry baby...........u can take help from internate via google, u can also use facebook twitter etc so that you can chat / communicate with so many people...........

Oct 27, 2012
2 likes
Elizabeth2006

Hi im slightly younger but i understand you I sit iny room every minuet of the day I also a people person however no one will acknowledge my presence im new to this site so I need someone to talk to myself I suffer with anxiety and have had a few attacks. Hear to talk

Oct 23, 2012
2 likes
lonely382000

Please just be careful and dont share your personal information with anyone ok. it have sick people in this world! God bless.

Oct 17, 2012
1 like

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I Need Someone to Talk to

...my Soul Is Dying. I Need To Talk To People.

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