...my Soul Is Dying. I Need To Talk To People.

Let me say that I am sorry for the things I am about to say. I just have no one to talk to and I am very lonely. I just turned 25 and I should be worried about finding a job and learning what I want but I am sadly stuck in my house. I am an agoraphobic. It's my anxiety that makes my stomach hurt which makes me very uncomfortable because I am scared to death of throwing up. Something happened where I had the biggest panic attack of my life and had to quick my job and school when I was 20. I've missed weddings, family trips, and worse of all I am missing my life. Anyway I live with my older brother and sister and my mom and dad. Its seemed they have all decided to abandon me, not trying to understand anything I've been going through. I just want someone to talk to. I have no friends anymore and I am a people person. Its so hard to only have the space in the house that is my world but because I have people all around me here and they mostly ignore me I am confined even more to my room. I just want a friendly person to talk to. I feel so embarrassed to even have to do this but I feel like my soul is dying. I need to talk to someone else besides myself. I like the 80's a lot and a lot of 50's and oldies music. I love movies too. I play piano sometimes to release my stress and I like to write children's stories and music. I hope this finds some new friends. Thank you for reading my story.

ladylilith ladylilith
26-30, F
102 Responses Feb 16, 2012

I know what youre going threw and im more then willing to chat any time your feeling down.

Im here to talk!

Hi. ru ok?

Add a response...

Add a response...

hello im michelle and i would like to talk to you im lonely too and hardly ever leave my house want to talk

I have been confined to a room for seven years. I have mentally ill since I was 19 and slowly got worse. I went through excruciating pain for seven years. Feel your fear and pain don't run from it, this will lesson it's effect over time. Also get some buspar 45 mil and effexor from your doctor, this will releave your anxiety and you may be able to leave your room and become active again. Don't take controlled substance anxiety medicine it will make you worse. Get a small supply of for emergencies like you have to go to the store or you'll starve. Get on disability and move to a small cheap town and get your own apartment if your living situation can't last. If it can stay there a keep the relationships you have and work on them. Make your room a sacred shelter that is home sweet home. Learn what you can do and can't do. I think your situation will get better over time. Fear is real and the more you deal with on your terms, the more contoured it becomes. Good luck Michelle and god bless. Ask again if necessary.

I can so totally relate to your situation I'm sorry you are going through this.. I'm having the same issue right now.. I know its hard to get up in the mornings and everything requires a lot of effort but stay strong.. :)

I read ur story I'm so sorry. My name is Makayla and I'm twelve and tonight my dad was at my house with me my mom and my sisters and he got a call from the doctors I didn't know what was going on but he started crying and I got really sad. :(... Tonight I found out my dad will be dead in two years. Atleast I know how much time I have with him. And i am going to spend as much time I can get with him. I'm so sad. My dads always had the worste luck. It terse me a part. He has had such a rough life. He just wanted to be loved. He was hurting. Don't let your soul die. It can't die. Please don't let it. You gotta be strong. You know I can't just cry everytime I see my dad.
You matter. You know that. Even if they call me ugly, fat, stupid, idiot, lunitic, wierd I still don't care. I ******* HATE THIS WORLD! BUT THATS THE WAY IT IS! WHY THE **** ARE U EVEN THROWING UP?! IM SORRY. I guess I'm more confused then I though

be lucky your siblings are younger than you. So you don't feel even more pathetic

I got bad stuff too, i cant seem to find my family and relatives too friendly and compatible, i got ****** grades so i find it difficult to apply for university, which i haven't been able to got to for a year since my graduation. plus my family doesn't have spirit lifting habits nor brand new ways or destinations to spend the vacation in, its just gloomy, so i sort of banish them in order to feel less sad its a type of confinement too. i never had any sort of a real friend in any point in my life, i never knew which people to get, or what sort of social rules i have to follow. every time i went to a different school i desperately tried so hard to explain my problems to the people around but they seem to pretend as if i've told them nothing. i have always wanted to try being social but i always get discouraged. i never knew which sort of interest i really liked, i dont have any deeply structured interest that i find it fun or useful from the lack of social interaction. i guess im at critical stage and my life hasn't even started. hang in there, i respect your crisis since we are similar, i hope u find a way out im sure its somewhere close; since i cant see a way out for my case.

If you ever need someone to talk to, just message me. You seem like an amazing person.

You sound like a very sweet girl who has had a difficult last few years, if you ever want to chat just let me know and i'll be more than happy.

Your story is beautiful, in its own twisted way. Remember that.


you are a sweet person :)
if you feel low, remember, I'm just around :)

You sound like an amazing person. I am truly sorry you have this condition, and that you cannot change its implications on your life. If that was me i would be neck deep in self-pity. I think you have shown the courage to help get past this and really improve the life you lead. I am not demeaning your condition in any way, i know the difficulties you are experiencing, i just hope you can push on and be happy. I wish you all the happiness and luck on this globe.


hi just wanna say your not alone and if you ever wanna talk or to have someone to listen message me anytime.

My name is Vince. I have been trying to pick up a married woman. Please call me and help save my soul 219-405-5519. I need to find the Lord

wait till you reach 50! you will be surprised how alive you still are. hope you try shifting your thoughts to the good side of your life too :)) it may help

I feel the same. You should repeat saying "I'm gonna be fine" to yourself all the time. I like old music and I play piano too!! gosh we are so similar!!!

Michelle, Please message me if you need to talk because I've been in your situation and I am a great listener


I hope you are looking for the same thing; just someone to talk to and maybe we can both find some answers to life.

I feel like you. I even have a husband but we don't talk much. Just need a friendly person to talk about life and how to make it feel better.

Hello Michelle my name is David Im new to EP and just like you I need someone to talk to as well. Im going through a divorce after 15 years and i just feel like i need someone to talk to as well. I to feel like my soul is dying. I sure could use a friend to talk to about life in general.

I don't know what you went through at 20.

One of the ways to come out of your fears is to keep taking one step forward at a time, facing the situations where you go through these fears.

Isolating yourself from the world doesn't help, as you start giving more time for your mind to go through the "recollect and recall" process.

You need to get more and more involved in activities that involve constant interaction with people. Most of them may not understand you, but keeping yourself active will help YOU to overcome your fears.

Are you religious? If yes, get involved in the community welfare activities.
If you are not, start on group sports which needs physical activity, and keeps your mind off the thinking process. As your physical body develops endurance, so shall your mind relax.

Before starting any of the above, please do ensure that you meet your doctors and take their advise also, in case you are undergoing any treatment or taking medications for your current situation.

Ive read ur story. and I see where your coming from,it is really painful to loose path sometimes and finding yourself in a place with just plain faces. I will pray for you, to jut be restored socially, to be an active goer, to meet new sincere friends that would continue to inspire you to do land a great job, to have the life that you wanted to have. everyone of us are valuable and worth loving. stay as you are. smile!

Hi michelle lilith. how are things with you?

if i could win ya,if i could sing ya, a love song so divine,would it be enough for your cheatin heart -if i broke down and cried? if i cried?

Lilith hopefully i'm not yet too late to ever respond to you.... been depressed a lot of times and these links surely help me... i have been around ep trying to share these links because i love to share to people what have helped me...hope it helps you too:

================= click what year
=================contains true stories of people like alcoholics, those on booze,
=================prostitutes, rape victims, etc . and how they become free

=================they got a chat support..scroll down


I am allone 2 i wan2 be hold and all that were are you from

I have that same feeling..the anxiety fills me up whenever I want to go out..even to just shop or go to the grocery. I am a single mother with a 17 yr old boy and I live with my mother. No one looks my way in the house. If they do , they act with irritation, seems like they want to leave me alone after a few minutes even if I am just minding my own business. At work, I have isolated myself from my officemates so they shun away as well.. I know what it means to feel that the soul is dying.. I was wonder after reading that there others like..could we have a mental disorder that we are unaware of? I am 48 and even if I am aware I cant help myself and nobody ordinary or normal seems to think I have a problem except that they think its the real me.. but I know its not. What can we do? We must try some steps to move and apply mental exercise shouldn't we? I feel I emit negative energy. is there a way we can all help each other?

Oh my goodness, when I read your story I thought someone was writing MY story. Hi I'm 24, live with my parents, worry about not having a job, and hardly ever go out because I am afraid to leave my house too. I get super anxiety and nauseous, I'm nauseous right now and can't really explain it. I live mostly in my room too and no one calls me on the phone anymore.
My soul is starting to die too. I am very lonely. As sad as it sounds my computer has become my best friend and I am bored to death of it. I am sorry and I completely understand your situation.

I am so sorry that you have a similar story. I would not wish it upon anyone. I have read others stories about being agoraphobic and the reasons seem to vary and people continue to treat it like something of laziness or something. I hope one day your brain will click in some way that you will be able to live life again. I hope and pray for that everyday. If you would like to chat I am here. Thanks for making me feel less alone although I wish it was under different circumstances.

You seem like a great person. Highly talented as well, I can just feel the potential you have in yourself. You are highly capable. Everyone is capable, everything in life is mental, you need to set your mind to something YOU think will make YOU happy. Go out there, release stress, do what you love to do. Choose not to be alone, it may sound like its not easy. But if you mentally prepare yourself to be happy, believe me you can do it, Michelle.


Thank you for your words.

I understand the feelings of loneliness even when people are with me I'm lonely if u need a friend or someone talk to my door is always open

Hi. Please feel free to give me a shout. I would be more than happy to chat with you. No problem. X

why you see yourself like that you have a gift

i was a shut in at time after i quit high school that lasted for seven years it was hard trying to go out side because i had lost all faith in people I'm not sure how but when my nieces school called and said she was sick i went out side to get her now I'm just a person who can't socialize well and gets tongue tied when talking to girls

Hi, I'm kristine, Psychology major.. I'm no expert but I think there still is hope, you just need to be open to getting all the help you can get.. you can start by identifying the things that you are afraid of.. make a list.. then start thinking, why am i afraid of this? start finding the logic of why you fear it.. then try to introduce yourself to it little by little.. It would be hard at first but being locked up all your life would be alot harder.. and uhmm.. this probably would be just nonsense advice If I don't get to know you a little.. PM me if you're interested..

I know how you feel. I am in a similar situation, except that I live with my husband. I have no friends to talk to or hang out with anymore, and my family moved to a different state years ago. So I spend all day at home waiting for my husband to get home, working on small projects here and there. I also have extreme social anxiety- when I was a child I had selective mutism, which means that although I could speak perfectly fine, outside of my home I was very soft spoken and in school I could not utter a word. It was not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't. I still feel sometimes as though I cannot speak. It is painful for me, as I am actually quite an expressive person. I also love movies and music in general, including oldies. And I also aspire to write and illustrate books, including children's books.

My situation is very similar to yours. Wait for my husband to get home every day while doing small task or crafts throughout the day. I also have social anxiety which stems from past traumas. I have a huge problem with judgment and think that I am always being judged. I also get very paranoid. The worst thing about all this is that I thrive when helping others but fear being around people. Even though I am married I have no support except for my therapist. Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and give up.

If you need a friend or someone to talk to..I'd be glad to listen: email me.

Hi...I know how it feels...

Hi! Don't worry time heals and changes everything.... I hope you'll get over this with your will power....

Hi me tooo feeling like ths everyday, even me also no friends, no one except god no one is thr 4 me. Will u be my friend.

I'll be your special listener. I want to talk with you very, very much. I am Don in Georgia. the sooner the better. I am here online

hi. my name is lilith. i can certainly understand how a person can become agoraphobic in this world. i am not far from being one. and many people are agoraphobic in some degree. there is no support anywhere you turn and all paths can be a deception. but i like to socialize and i have been enough places in the world to know that other societies socialize freely, without being hypersensitive to being offended or offending someone else. what i have found, quite by accident, is that one thing i have is that i will not apologize for loving someone. it is a gift to be able to love someone. it is hard to find love and most are busy hardening their hearts. my family members were totally hard hearted. so, since i have a heart i am working on growing that love. i am trying to be a love generator. people are starved for love and so i am doing a public service :) music can help generate love. so can children's books. don't know if this offers you any inspiriation. friends are hard to find and i will pray you find some and that you will love them and cherish them. love, lilith

Grow your love from your heart to mine. I'm a loving generous man when it comes to Love

Your so brave. Regardless of ANYTHING... Your so brave. You just gave me a little strength

hey ...
1st thank you for being brave writing your story ... sorry, I didn't see your post earlier ... I also like a musik from 80' ties.... if you need to talk I am always available...

It's good that you are coming out of closet and are trying to find people to talk to. Hope you will find someone who will listen to everything you have got to share.

I can try to be there, but I can't promise being around all the time.

Lets talk. :)

You need to face your fears.
You sounds like you could be a really cool gal to know
If you can overcome and face your fears.
I wish you love and laughter

Clearly its not just a matter of me facing my fears or I would have done that by now. This is not like I just feel so scared to do a report for work or get up in front of a bunch of people.

I feel the same, dealing with being single is one thing, but next to that I don't have any friends.. its really painful and scares me sometimes when I think it wont change, why would it?

Im an optimistic person, I doubt Ill let this bother me for long, everyone hurts sometimes and it feels more and more tough to deal with it the moe it happends, ahh life <3

Just by posting regarding change, change occurs. People we meet give us new ways to think about issues and even if they give us old ways to think about things at least it gets us thinking :)
I was given some advice by a near and dear friend: (her grandmother gave her this advice)(credit where credit is due :) ), Simply put if the world were to end tomorrow would what is bothering you be that big of a deal? If the world doesn't end tomorrow then you have survived another a day :)
Or something like that :)
I have learned that if I am not comfortable with myself than a lot of things get me down, once I accepted me, and became comfortable with just me I realized what a true treasure the few friends I have are to me. My mother says I am cultivating friends now the quality not quantity is what counts :).
Blathering now ended, hope any of this helps.

i see you have got so many friends after you wrote your story.. but if you still need someone to talk to i would be grateful to be your friend and hope i can help or make you happy...

Please talk to someone positively. Appreciate someone. That's the only way that people will respect you and appreciate you.

I do talk to people positively but that doesn't mean it gives me people to talk to. I don't have friends because I am stuck in my house.

I'm slightly older than you...I will be 39 on the 28th
The thing is since I lost my son...I lost myself
He was murdered 10/09/10

My family kinda tried to be there by answering the phone sometimes when I call.
My job FIRED me....
But I fought for it back

But I can't fight for myself to live pass my grief...I do try
But if something else is bothering me...

I always think of my son!!

I'm so sorry that is beyond horrible. I would hug you if I was there! **HUGS**

You need to talk, I need to talk,
Just do it

Waiting for your response

Hello Ms. Lady - if you want to talk about anything - you are more than welcome to send me a message :-)

i am ready to do friendship with you

Hi there,

I am only mildly agoraphobic. I have multiple stress disorders and gut issues as well.
On the days when my brain is warring with my soul I will just open the windows, I step just outside my door, one foot in and one out.

I hope if you can concur your malady and if you need an eye to read your worries I am here. :)

p.s. I have been dealing with this issue for 20 years or more.

I have the one where its beyond extreme agoraphobic. Sorry you have any form of it. It really sucks. I admire the people who have it and can still live life. I cant be outside for to long or I start to hyperventilate.

Aww you can talk to me

hi michelle,
sounds like your going through a tough time :( have you sought professional help/advise, is your family supportive, hang in there everyone goes through a tough patch remember your not alone i went through 5 years of hell and you never forget it. try and stay positive and when you come through you will be a stronger person, surround yourself with good people you trust and try and smile..

Yes I have have called every therapist around me and every time it is well you have to get here for me to help you and I'm like thats my problem I cant get to you that's why I need your help. There isn't anyone I have heard of that will help me or try to even. Its not like I don't put myself out there I do. There just isn't options for someone like me. One of my fillings in my tooth fell out 3 weeks ago and I still haven't worked up the strength to be able to go to the dentist. Its the life of a server emetaphobic agoraphobic.

do you want to talk to me

i cant say i know what your going through but im a good listener and i like a good chin wag to anybody my child hood was not so great but what has happend has kind of helped me to be the person i am today im 24 married with 2 children if you wanna chat dont heasatate to add me btw im a bad speller lol

Hi michelle, i may not understand what yer goin through but i can always try to help. im here whenever you need someone to talk to even if you just want someone to listen without a word, i hope things turn around fer you and i wish you the best. Be strong and hold in there

Hi Michelle I need someone to talk to too. Maybe we can IM or something?

I too am wasting my life, im still in college but rarely go in, my family doesnt understand either and i dont know how to fix myself, when i do go out i do stupid things and lock myself away again just because i dont know how to deal with people and especially men. I am 24 and i feel like im trapped in the body of someone who is not me. i know i need professional help but my family wouldn't let me get it a few years ago when i tried to kill myself they just covered it up. So i know how u feel and i hope u find the help u need i too love the 1950s its an area i look at a lot in my art practice :)

Hey, Don't worry baby...........u can take help from internate via google, u can also use facebook twitter etc so that you can chat / communicate with so many people...........

Hi im slightly younger but i understand you I sit iny room every minuet of the day I also a people person however no one will acknowledge my presence im new to this site so I need someone to talk to myself I suffer with anxiety and have had a few attacks. Hear to talk

Please just be careful and dont share your personal information with anyone ok. it have sick people in this world! God bless.

Kind of in the same situation as you, I'm 25 too, I live at home with my brother, sister, and parents. I mostly just spend all my time in my bedroom. As I got nothing else to do cause its hard finding a job. I'm learning a lot from this though, and feeling better lately cause you just gotta do what you like. I have no friends anymore as they are all doing their own thing, college, jobs, raising a family etc. I was down for a while, but eventually I stopped letting it bother me. Some times you just gotta live your own life. And not worry about other people if they aren't worried about you. Hope that helps you a little :) and your doing better!

I may only be fourteen, but I know exactly how you feel. I'm so afraid of being judged and rejected to the point that I can't go out anywhere without worrying what people are saying/think about or even crying. I spend everyday in my bedroom where I listen to music and do art. Its like a way of escaping reality for me, a way for me to take my mind of of anything and everything bad. And even though I'm a bit younger then you, I'm always down to talk if you ever need to. c:

You seemed depressed, and very lonely. You can talk to me i will listen. I've been through the same thing. The best way to overcome your fear is o face it. Try to get out and do something you like. Maybe do yoga for relaxation or something fun. Your family and friends aren't mad at you they are worried about you but tired. You will make new friends, better friends.

This place can be difficult. Many of us have passed through moments when we felt as you do now. In the energy work circle, it is said that energy follows thought. We can change our thoughts by changing our environment. If we get out of our negative environment into a positive one, our thoughts will follow. There are many positive groups that would love your help. The American Red Cross, Big Brothers Big Sisters, just to name two that I belong to. You join one of these groups and you will see just how important and valuable and loved you are. Namaste

:) I really wish that I could do something like that but as it stands I can't even go to the doctor when I am sick because I am home bound. Thank you for your thoughts though.

I totally feel you.. I am scared of the world.. And I'm just fourteen. But let me say this, you are a beautiful person.. And from what I've read, you have a great taste in music my dear. I'm here if you need to talk.

Thank you very much for the kind words. I pray that you grow out of your fear of the world. Music is pretty AMAZING!! lol. Thank you for offering an ear. I am also offering one. ;)

I used to be outgoing, I feel like I still may be but little by little I am changing I feel so sad and I no longer have control of anything. After becoming a mom I expected that to happen to an certain extent but it's not all about being a mom. I have friends but don't want to bother them with my problems, wish I had someone to talk to that won't judge, you know just a chance to vent. I have tried to talk to my supposed best friend but she always ends up talking about herself. I remember being 22 and how fun it was, I wish you could experience that. I hope there is a miracle to take you out of your situacion.

Hi. I am very sorry to hear that. It must be more difficult when you have a baby. I can't imagine having to be happy so you can make your baby smile and learn to be happy. Sometimes its easier to talk to strangers. I won't judge you or shut your voice down. Just write me if you ever need to talk. :)

Dear Michelle, I've just read your story and it really touched me. I know it was written in February and over 2,000 people read it, but just the same I hope you found someone to talk to by now. Everyone deserves (and has) a chance. I'm also alone and find it very hard. My situation is quite different though, and different age too... Solitude made me understand what is like been alone and understanding the many people that unfortunately live this situation. I never been on this site and I don't know how it works, but I send this, hoping you will see it and bring a little help to you. JC

I actually just now got this site to let me on here again after trying for several months. I didn't realize anyone would read my little story let alone respond. :)
Thank you for taking the time to write me something. I am sorry that you are in a same type, yet different, situation. I wish I knew how to bring people who were like this together and who can give each other support. I hope you are doing well.

I dont know much about your condition but can only think that it must feel awful to feel this way. i think by going back the the incident that started it off and adressing that, may just be the key to help you get out there and life before the inevitable happens. im not saying its going to be easy its going to be the hardest ride in your life but the rewards will be amazing.good luck.x

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. :)

you know girl i'm drunk. i'm trying the best i can to deliver a proper comment that makes you feel better. I'm a man who has experienced some things and trust me life is always strange. one moment you feel happy, and the next one you r sad that's how life goes. But i can give you a hint, be strong, and be always your self. **** thous people who don't accept you and start be leaving in your self.

:) thank you for writing to me even though you were drunk lol. I appreciate your thoughts.

hello i am 15 years old i have no real friends :l i have realized this since i joined high school and i am depressed,lonely i believe that I don't fit in anywhere and this has made me do some stupid stuff to myself.As days go by i feel like i fit in less everyday,I used to go out and meet my friends everyday but they have all changed and be-trade me in ways that friends are not meant to do they did stuff only enemies do I have not been able to trust anyone in a long time because of this and i have never told anyone any of my secrets about all the stupid thing i did to my self and sometimes still do stupid things to my self. I cant even trust my own family as it has got this bad i hardly ever talk to anyone these days as trust is a big thing for me and I can't trust any one these days.I would like to find at least one person I can talk to and trust :l

Hi sweetie. Thanks for writing me. I am sorry I didn't get back to you until now. It will get better. High school is great to a lot of people but for some its a really cruel world that is full of mind games and what ever else crap people decide to throw at you. I would say just be who you are and be nice to others and soon enough you will have some new friends that will accept you for you. Also I found that when I felt that way in school, which was a lot, I would just focus on my school work. Not the most fun thing to do but it got me threw some pretty tough days. Families can be pretty rough too. All I can say is just keep trying. Work on who you want to be and who you want around you. I am here if you need to talk. :)

I'm sorry you are going through hard times. I need someone to talk to too, write me anytime :)

i can be your friend. shoot me an email :)

I'm very sorry for your troubles. How can I help?<br />

Dear Millhelle,<br />
What i am going to say might not help you......<br />
But i feel the same way, i too do't have anyone to talk to. I am way from my home and friends, i tried to make new friend at my new place but its like they do't understand me. And , may be its embarrassing, but i do't have a GF too. Now i am starting to think like they do't like the way i talk or text or look's like. Which sometimes bother me a lot.

Dear LadyLil Michelle,<br />
<br />
We're living in a time and age when uniqueness, shyness, pain are not understood. I will tell you that your soul is in fact dying. And so is mine. So is everyone surrounding us. Life is a great tragedy that unfolds before us. Everyone hurts deeply. Everyone is painfully lonely, trying to fill it with cultures unsatisfying offerings [sports, business, substances, love, sex, violence etc]. Yes we're all in this boat called fallen, mortal, decaying humanity. Think of Greek tragedies. There's only one way out and even He asks us to hold on and wait until the end of time. There is the promise that we can be given the strength to hold on and endure the short remainder of a fallen crumbling world. You are not insane. The world is insane and sees anyone who can evaluate the grimness accurately as insane. But it's backwards. People who are in touch with true reality are generally not interested in life here and have trouble with others. But it just means that your genuine connectedness is out of this world and there is a reason your being preserved here, a greater purpose to be revealed in the next world. Take hold of it. Grab peace and happiness despite what's going on around you. Seek Him. You can hang on by grabbing onto hope from outside yourself and outside this broken world, which is scheduled to be fixed one day. There you can fit in. Till then look up. There's nothing to be embarrassed about reaching out and realizing a profound truth, one in fact given to you as a gift from above to help you realize where real hope lies, not here and not all now. But enough is available here and now to survive the remaining time.

I too have agorafobia. I have my reasons,you have yours. Regardless life is too short to be sad. I am a person who was always interested in fun then I had an accident that gave me PTSD. that really changed things. I want to be happy again and have soe one to talk with. Ba=elieve me-I understand. Pat

It's definitely hard to get through Agrophobia a lone :(. There's even psychology blogs out there, and people on this blog who could help you with some experience in the field.

That's great you are trying an attempt to talk to others. That's a great start! If you are interested in writing children stories, and your thinking that you need a job, maybe you could consider that as one of your projects to making money. :) Maybe since you do not go out of the house, you could talk to people or get a counselor to help you through this and talk through phone or through online means. You'd have to pay, but there's counselors you could find online, and if you have insurance. Even better!

Michelle, sorry you are going through this.......... I used to have panic attacks really bad....... once for two weeks straight and I couldnt even go to work..............prayer worked for me.... me doing it as well as my parents................. when you look into the mirror and look bad to yourself.............. you got a problem............. felt like the life was literally leaving me.................so i think i know what u mean when u say your soul was leaving...........get some help ..........most people dont understand anxiety............. so they dont know how or dont respond to it............... God bless you and i hope you get some relief............. push yourself............

I understand. Take baby steps to leave the house for a few minutes.