Looking For Someone To Listen And Give Adivce Possibly

Thank you for all your advice, I love and have read what every one has said and I appreciate it,,,you cant make anyone feel or do anything they dont want to expecially and adult...he says he wants to grow old and cant see himself with anyone else,,this is the way the marriage has always been and it has for 24 years because I put 100 percent into my now 23 year old daughter and we are empty nesters so I think , hey okay lets start were we left off 24 years ago ..that cant happen ...he works,,,he works out, he goes to school, he spends time with his grandson and I am there...he does not want to make time for dates. or anything else with me because this is how it always has been. dont you want to change...I say and then it goes into a fight...i bust my balls and work hard,,,,i feel like a slave because I work so much...I also work full time as a nanny and take care of the home and pets...and our grandson on the weekends he sleeps over...I am on the back burner but he wants me here for a safety net? I dont know

Who wants the romance? That was unclear. You mentioned that you were trying to get the romance back, but later mentioned something to the effect of "and you are looking for a romance novel." So are you the one expected to single-handedly repair that after it was on hold that whole time? Because that's not something that happens by oneself.

However, other questions arise as well. Do you feel as though the two of you have grown to want different things? It's not uncommon. In fact, it's actually more uncommon to grow along the same paths with your partner, so it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't think his brother/sister feeling - if broken down to a simpler form - is entirely abnormal. At a certain age, a couple will drift away from sexual desires. Men peek sexually at a much younger age than women do, so he may have lost a chunk of his own sexual appetite. If you look at it like that, all long-lasting couples could only *hope* to have such a good relationship with one another. He's just tactless for putting it the way he did. Sounds like a downgrade. Though I don't think that's the intent.

I think... absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder. People of all ages often break up with their lovers - lovers who are absolutely HORRIBLE to them - and after 3 days to a week, they get back together because they "missed them so much." In those cases, they're clearly not thinking about the reasons they left them in the first place; they just realized that the few good things weren't there anymore, and they went rushing back without further analysis. I think in your case, following a similar path may actually be beneficial. Making yourself less 'present' for a few weeks - even discussing it with your partner first - may put him in a situation where he realizes what's missing in his life. When you see someone every day, life gets stagnant. So maybe he needs the color to leave his world to remember that it was there in the first place.

I say if he still loves you then find ways to make it work! Divorce is a horrible experience that leaves you with a lot of painful regrets! Please build on that love and it will work. Maybe you should remarry and rekindle that spark together! Good luck!

I am a single parent of three and no one ever sticked around so even if it is a brother/sister relationship you are still blessed to have someone who sticked around. Ill pray for your daughter and grandson.

This is a phase and soon will pass. Keep doing what your doing, Did you try spicing it up in the bedroom or trying to? Has he denied you? Relationships should come 1st before anything else. Change up your look do somethingj new and fresh not the same routine everydayyy

You need to put it in Gods hands.. Look to him when you are lost

I think your problem with you spouse is more common than most realize. Crazy but we most of the time put our marriages on the back burner and then before we no it, the love has dimished. I can't offer advice as I too am there. I can only offer support. Sorry to hear about your situation.

My wife and I are in the same situation and it is me who has lost feelings for her. There could be someone else in his life, such is the case with me, although this other person didn't come between my wife and I... I had lost the passion for my wife a long time ago. What she did was make it impossible to hide my feelings and pretend anymore. My advice would be to try and make him jealous. Show interest in someone else. If he displays jealousy then there is hope. If he does not then the feelings are either lost or were never there in the first place and most likely will never be rekindled.

Before you begin a relationship with someone, make sure that your relationship with yourself is where it needs to be. Take your time, because relationships that start fast, end fast.

dear cherryicys2 iam in the same boat i have been with him for 35 years i have two kids a son31 and a girl 29 i have two grandsons 9 and 5 iam 49 and i feel like running away we dont sleep togather i still cook clean wash take care of dogs house avery thing he come home i get dinner seve it to me clean up he does not one thing to help me at all cant make him fix or clean anything he dont even try i have no place to go and he noes that no money and no pleace so i understand

First you have to decide what will make you happy and content. Many couples stay together when there are other opportunities,just because it "is the right thing to do" well, not always. There is a possibility that you could find a support group to help you thru this difficult experience, and some find others that can make you happy. There is nothing worse than staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Life is too short for that, and it appears that under the surface, that is what you are seeking. "The long journey begins with a single step"make it. You will find that there are people out there that will help you. I wish you happiness and joy. However, you have to make the first move. Stay safe and good luck in your journey.

The fact that you both want to stay together is something that you need to hold onto. Tightly.

I think it will take a lot of time, much longer than you'd probably like to think about, to get the relationship you want. It will take work, it will take frustration and it will take a lot of staying positive to get that relationship but it'll work out in the end if that's what you both want.

The fact that he says he loves you is very important and encouraging. At least he told you how he feels. That is very positive. You two can turn this around, I believe and you should. You don't want to get divorced - believe me. it's awful. you will find more problems than you have now. let's talk

With my long term partner, I felt that we had a brother/sister relationship and told her. I realise now that it was a huge mistake. In fact, I realised that very shortly after she told me she was leaving, but it was too late.



See, it wasn't that I thought of her as a sister. It's that I felt really comfortable with her, and as though we were part of a team. We had a lot of stress (it sounds like you do also) and I figured I would take care of the relationship another day. In short, I just wasn't thinking clearly.



If you love him, the best way to get him thinking clearly is to tell him you're leaving and see what he does. If he's anything like me, he'll take a few days to process what's happening and think about what he wants out of life, and come grovelling back as the reformed most romantic guy in the world lol.

i think you are both capable of passion still. heres the secret:

one of you has to take charge and except more than half the responsability.

i suggest reading up on this and i reccomend some fun like a bottle of scotch a package of cigarettets (organic) and some sexy action, but you gotta mean it. dont putz around like brother and sister waiting for mom to get back from the store with something yummy, and do read up on taking charge. and on your fun night be self assured for real. dont be all showered and perfumed, instead be medium strength fragrant. men love that.do not be fooled if he acts like he doesent.he might freak out to himself. but guys love to have sex with their woman any time she might freak him out. it heightens the senses. you can lead the sex and put his face in it. use your body if you still love him at all. and dont crack. if your doing this you have to commit. give the impression time to work on your date night (but call it fun night), let him think your drinking as much as him but drink less.youre leading the conversations and subtly all the way from the livingroom to the kitchen back and forth, then to the bedroom. where you put his face right in it all over you, the full tour.

research womens charms and pleasures and powers. if you were my wife id be glad for these things yould do.

Somewhere along the way you each forgot that you're boyfriend and girlfriend. Here's what I mean. When was the last time the two of you went on a romantic weekend getaway? (that means NO KIDS! hehehe) When was the last time you both did something wild and exciting together? When was the last time you seduced him?



The point is, you both NEED to spend time with each other and use that time just for yourselves. This means no talking about bills, problems, the kids, etc., etc. It's a time for the two of you to connect with one another - to have fun in each others company.



Remember, you're more than just mom and dad - you're also boyfriend and girlfriend too :)

I wish I knew what to till you there are no words that can kelp u know I am praying for u

i think there is something else he is trying to communicate, may be he is planning to move apart in the relationship. for ten years, sleeping in diff rooms with no sex and finally he coming up with sister/brother relationship........its weird, you need to understand he might already have someone to sleep in that years

YES always gives great and wise yet loving advice...... I couldnt say it better . Perhaps the brother/sister thing just simply meant he fell into a "comfort" zone w you. As a counselor, im thinking that's more what he waz tryin to exprexs and ,remember, men have trouble communicating

YES always gives great and wise yet loving advice...... I couldnt say it better . Perhaps the brother/sister thing just simply meant he fell into a "comfort" zone w you. As a counselor, im thinking that's more what he waz tryin to exprexs and ,remember, men have trouble communicating