I Need Someone To Listen.

I'm almost 21 years old, I'm single and I hate my job. I've been really down for the past couple weeks and I just don't know how to deal with it. I'm normally a pretty happy person. I've always had trouble with anxiety, I'm very shy and I get anxiety attacks in certain situations. I used to take medication for it but when I started doing better my doctor took me off it. I've been fine for about 6 months and now I've just been having more and more little slumps. I'll get sad or lonely but I can usually pull myself out it it. But this time is different. I've tried exercising and eating healthy (because I read online that may help) but it didn't. So I started drinking. It really makes me feel better instantly and I feel good for the evening and usually sleep better too, but in the morning I'm back to being just as depressed, if not more. I'm starting to scare myself because along with depression alcoholism runs in my family. I just don't know what to do. I know all of the things that are making me depressed can be changed but not easily. I hate my job but I need money so I'd have to find a new job where I can make more money but still there is no guarantee that I won't hate that job just as much. The lonliness is harder to fix tho. I have friends, but none of them are close enough for me to be honest with like this. And it's not like I can just google "the love of my life" and find him. I'm just a very closed off person and it's hard for me to get really close with anyone at all. The only person I've ever really been extremely close to is my ex that I broke up with almost a year ago. I broke up with him because I know I don't love him like he loves me and I just couldn't stay in the relationship cause I was unhappy. But he still tries to talk and I honestly really like talking to him but I know each time he tries to make it an attempt to get back together. It's just been getting increasingly harder to not talk to him because when I get lonely I remember the times when I was happy with him and I felt safe and secure and now that my life feels so out of control I keep wishing for those times back. I just feel empty and numb and I don't know how to deal with it anymore.
CestLeVie CestLeVie
18-21, F
4 Responses Apr 15, 2012


What is your problem? You haven't list your problem. what you have listed is all common to all in the world. But, you have some specific problem, which haunts you. What is that? Find out. What you have mentioned is not the real problem. Those are floating water problem. There is some problems you have below the deep sea. What are they?

I've been a manic depressive all my life, it's not something that will ever go away. You can always try talking to a doctor about a mood stabilizer for the depression, if those don't work try an antidepressant. Whatever you do though PLEASE stop drinking, most of the time it's a temporary release and your problems will still be there, if not worse, when morning comes and you're sober again. <br />
<br />
Keep your head up, I've been through a lot in my life. Crappy jobs, lousy men, bouts of depression, but it WILL get better. You just have to believe that it will. If you ever need a friend feel free to add me, I'm always willing to listen or offer advice :)

Thanks for the support :) I'm trying to keep my head up and trying to make better decisions about how to deal with my problems. Trying to put things into perspective because I really haven't got it that bad, just for some reason my head and body tell me otherwise.

Life is hard and at some point everyone feels a bit defeated and down, what separates us from those who give up are that we remember that things could ALWAYS be worse and there is ALWAYS a reason for living. Prioritizing can help a lot. So can tackling one issue at a time. Taking it in your mind and examining why you feel a certain way and then overcoming that feeling. Sometimes all it takes is one issue at a time and one day at a time!

Well alcohol usually depresses people more than they already are, try to stop drinking or drink much less.....depression hurts, I know ive been depressed 4 years...loneliness I can relate to as well...it's like you feel like you have nobody to talk to, nobody to share your life with

I know that alcohol doesn't solve my problems but sometimes I feel like I just need that quick fix :/ I'm going to try my best to stop and find other outlets. Hopefully reaching out on EP will help out! I'm already feeling a little better knowing there are people who can relate!!