No One Knows Or Understands
Ever since I was a little girl I ahve always been on the recieving end of name calling and patronizing remarks. I am the youngest child in my family being two years younger then my brother and sister. They are twins and often gang up on me with verbal attacks. I have always been a huge pushover and I still am. My siblings have always belittled me and often made me feel insignificant and useless. When I was born I weighed about 9.5 pounds. I'm told that is heavy for a new born and as i grew, my weight grew with me and sometimes it even got ahead of me. Now, at 16, I weight about 190 pounds. This is after I finally lost twenty pounds. Because of my weight, My father often calls me a fatass amoung coutless other derrogatory remarks and has done so throughout my life. To my parents I am a lazy, nasty, rebellious child who will go no where in life. My school grades are, on averge, between 85 and 95, but it is still not good enough to my parents. I have many friends but none that I would ever consider close enough to tell this to. Lately, I find myself upset and easily angered. I don't want to talk to people and have even started to evade my friends. I cut myself a few times, but I don't think I'm depressed. It is as if I want to make the emotional scars visible, make them real.