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No One Knows Or Understands

Ever since I was a little girl I ahve always been on the recieving end of name calling and patronizing remarks. I am the youngest child in my family being two years younger then my brother and sister. They are twins and often gang up on me with verbal attacks. I have always been a huge pushover and I still am. My siblings have always belittled me and often made me feel insignificant and useless. When I was born I weighed about 9.5 pounds. I'm told that is heavy for a new born and as i grew, my weight grew with me and sometimes it even got ahead of me. Now, at 16, I weight about 190 pounds. This is after I finally lost twenty pounds. Because of my weight, My father often calls me a fatass amoung coutless other derrogatory remarks and has done so throughout my life. To my parents I am a lazy, nasty, rebellious child who will go no where in life. My school grades are, on averge, between 85 and 95, but it is still not good enough to my parents. I have many friends but none that I would ever consider close enough to tell this to. Lately, I find myself upset and easily angered. I don't want to talk to people and have even started to evade my friends. I cut myself a few times, but I don't think I'm depressed. It is as if I want to make the emotional scars visible, make them real.
tearyeyedsoldier tearyeyedsoldier 16-17, F 5 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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Hang in there! I was emotionally and physically abused as a child. My father used to tell me I was stupid and useless. He used to tell me he wished I would die, or that I had never been born. I tried to commit suicide (the first time) at age seven. Now I am 48, have been in an emotiionally abusive marriage for 26 years. I have come to realize that it does not matter what others think about you, it does matter what you think about yourself. Don't let other's try to destroy you! I am ready to start remaking my life now at age 48! I am graduating from college in two weeks, plan to get a job, and a divorce in that order!

I grew up as middle-child. 3 years younger than the oldest and 5 older than youngest. Ofcourse, my little brother always took the eldests side so I was left out. But it wasnt till later that he started taking my side against the younger one on the more obvious situations. Siblings are 1 thing. But it doesnt last forever. They dont have a right to call you fat, and definitely not stupid. I know you cant brush off those kinda comments but just know its not true. I dont know if this helps at all.

Calling names, teased by parents and siblings - these are all common and if they don't do, someone else is going to do elsewhere. This is how the world is made up of. At least now you are getting used to it at home. So, that when you face such nasty insults outside, you will not feel deeply hurt. <br />
You are pretty smart and you score between 85-95, oh..that is great. Don't worry about others. Marks are not going to make a person.

I am very sorry that you are having to deal with all of this by yourself. No one should be called names and verbally abused like that, especially not by their own family. I am glad that you are holding on so far, even though you've been treated so badly. Keep holding on! Don't listen to your family because they don't know what they are saying. There isn't anybody who is as bad as they are saying, and certainly not you. You are young and beautiful inside and out, no matter what anybody says. I'm sorry that you don't have any good friends that you can rely on and talk to right now. You should always have reliable and trustworthy friends, especially in times like these when you need people to support you and comfort you. You can always message me anytime if you need someone to talk to! I would love to help you out in any way I can! I hope things get better and you don't take all their negativity to heart. Stay strong and just be yourself!

hi, after i read your story i feel like i know what to do but it might be harder to do that and i don't know if it's a good idea or not.<br />
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if i were you, i'll keep doing it right about study. if your parents don't care about how good you are, then you don't need to care what they thing too, you hve to believe in yourself, maybe try to get a scholarship in the far away university(you're not a university student, right?)<br />
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about your siblings, don't care them either, let them mark you, let they talk whatever they want, you just have to be strong. but you just have to play good, be a better person than they are, you can do it right? :)<br />
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but you don't get bullied at school, right? you should try to join schol club or do some activities. there must be something you can do and enjoy it. <br />
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and if there is no one listen to you, talk to me, i'll always listen, maybe my advise is not as good as you want but i hope you know that you're not alone in this world, you'll find some good friends.<br />
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don't let them down you<br />
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PS.