Ptsd

Hi, im 22 and i have had ptsd for most of my life. i know sad hu. the people around me know i have it but wont listin to me when i want to tell them about what they have to do to help me. they all tell me to get on meds but i dont like takin meds i have all ways been that way.i have been fighting this for soo long i cant have a good relation ship with anny one im with the love of my life and im scaired im goin to lose him because of it. his family gets mad at me for crying so i have to holdĀ  it in waht they dont understand is every waking moment i have flash backs to waht happened to me me in my chiled hod and even my teen years they tell me to leave the past behind me but it is hard and i dont know y i cant do it i dont know a lot of my family and the ones i was with was the cause of my ptsd i fill bad talking about it because i have never been to war but i was dignosed once and the person toled me i have it like a person just comming back from war i just need some help to cuntrole it
cammylove505 cammylove505
22-25
1 Response May 8, 2012

Darling, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about at all and don't let abyone ever make you think you do. And PTSD is just more commonly known in military service-personnel but probably more civillians have than vets, it's just like a lot of mental illnesses where it isn't really talked about.<br />
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I'm sorry to say this but the people who you are trying to talk to, especially your other half's family, don't sound terribly caring and I don't think you'll be able to change that. If people don't want to listen then I've learnt that that generally won't change in them unless they want it too. Do you and your other half talk about your thoughts/feelings openly? With him(?) on side then maybe you can both show those people who won't listen how to understand. Also, I hope I don't overstep my mark here, if your other half wants to leave you because of this (because his family doesn't understand) then I want to say that he didn't deserve you and you can do better. But talk to him first before you start getting stressed over losing him.<br />
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I'm sure most people would say that any abuse in childhood is worse than war because the people who go off to war are adults and choose it. I'm sorry that you didn't have a "happy" or "good" childhood, no one deserves not to have one.<br />
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If you can't get any support at home the best thing to do is to speak to your doctor (or a medical prefessional), they'll be able to give you options and there's a lot that don't involve medication. I think that maybe a therapist/psychologist or group therapy would be good for you so you can share with people who will listen without judgement and/or understand how you feel. Although, you said you cried a lot, and I know you don't want to take meds but if you feel like your moods/feelings are all over the place then medication can level them out somewhat and help you get through your day. Just saying.<br />
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If you want to talk with someone then please don't hesitate to PM me. I hope things get better for you soon and find people who deserve you enough to care to listen.