In Need Of Advice, Struggling More Than Ever..

Here's my story..
About two weeks ago, I left the states to visit my mother who was really sick. My mom had decided to go back home about 6 months ago and I was left on my own with a reckless brother who turns to drugs and alcohol for everything. (I'm 20 years old btw)
I had arrived to see my mom and was surprised to see almost a different person. At that time, I knew something was really wrong. We took her to the hospital and she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer that has spread to her lungs, bones and other organs. This was the biggest shock of my life and still is right now.. I know this sounds cliche, but my mother is literally my everything. From day one, she was a single parent and played both roles, as a father and as a mother. My dad has cheated on my mom in the past and has a second family and was never there for my brother and I.
Anyways not to get carried away with my past, the doctors had no treatment to offer us. No chemotherapy or radiation because her body is really weak and she doesn't get out of bed and barely eats. I started doing a little research on my own about alternative treatments and have found a few reliable resources where I was able to have the medication shipped internationally. With that being said, these medications are extremely expensive but have been proved to "cure" cancer. I have spent over $3000.
I'm fully independent, I have 2 jobs and only have myself for support. I don't have my father to turn to or my older brother. With me being here and not working, I have a lot of lost income. I'm stressing over the fact that I need to work to make money and pay for my credit cards, that way I can purchase more of this medicine that seems to be helping my mother.
My only problem is that I don't want to feel bad about leaving my mother. Although she's surrounded by her sisters and family here, I don't want her to feel like I'm leaving her and I don't care about her and I don't want to live with that guilt either.
If I do return, I have to search for a room to rent and that will obviously be more money but it's something that I can get through.
What would you guys advise me? My mind is spinning and I'm in no condition to make a proper decision.
I always usually think of myself but when it's your mother, it's really hard to put yourself first. Please help me, any advice is greatly appreciated!

Thank you in advance.
SeekingPeace7 SeekingPeace7
May 21, 2012