Feel Alone

I feel so alone and no one understands where I am coming from. I have been deployed for the last year and the last few months have been terrible. People that are supposed to look out for me have done nothing, but hurt me and now and gang of them make my life miserable. I thought that when I joined the military it would be a good thing to not only serve my country, but to make lifelong friends as well. I was wrong. Never in my life have I met people who were as scandalous as theses people. Its really sad, but I learned that the army is not a collective team effort, its an individual sport in a "team effort". To get ahead people will do the most messed up stuff ever and I am tired of being stepped on. I am tired of people telling me its okay and to let it go. How do I let something go when it effects my life day to day? I feel like no one understands because its not happening to THEM. I am tired of people telling me they understand when they DONT. Its not okay. I gave up so much to join the army and now I feel like I just wasted my time. Its so hard being out for here for a whole year and not having a friend to talk to or hang out with, but the people that bully me have no problems whatsoever. I am sick of them doing stuff and then setting me up for the blame. I am tired of being the scapegoat. Then when my superior comes to me about it he doesnt even believe me. Tells me I am too old to be playing games. I really want to blow up, but then I will just be even more miserable with the end result. I just feel hurt all the time. I feel like they have broken me. I dont know what to do.
ilovelasun ilovelasun
26-30
May 24, 2012