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What's Wrong With Me?

I just feel like I should die so often that It's becoming hard to bear. No matter what I do nothing ever changes, I do not respect or really are about myself, I've been feeling more anxious and nervous lately, I feel close to a breakdown. I'm 16 and I havent been very happy most of my life. I've been suicidal a few times but always decided against it. I've recovered from self harming twice, and I honestly do not think I can cope with my life any longer. I'm nearly sure there's something wrong inside my head, as I frequently go off on strange thought patterns usually involving death, suicide, sadness, depression and other dark things. I'm 16 and I dont feel ready to see a doctor...

Sickinside Sickinside 16-17, M 10 Responses Jul 4, 2008

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i wish you all the best. i think about suicide almost every day, so just know you are not alone in that. i encourage you to seek some kind of help, even if it's just a support group or a group of your peers or something along those lines. i dont think feeling this way will ever just be gone like *poof* one day. i think it's about small goals we make and slowly reach, and then one day we can look back over all we have accomplished and that's when we really see how far we have come... so don't feel like it isn't worth trying if there isn't an immediate change in your feelings/thoughts/behaviour. just take baby steps in the right direction, keep your chin up when you have to take some steps back, and one day you will be happy that you are still alive.

if you posted this, i think it is a sign of your inner strength!! you know something is wrong and you are already fighting it, so for today you should be proud of at least that.
(; niki

Chill. It's ok. ((( HUG ))) We all went through it, pretty much, or something similar. Growing up is NOT easy, esp these days. ( BTW : It's a process, not a destination. ) If the "bad thoughts" R really scaring/disturbing U, try speaking W/ some1 U trust, ( coach, guidance counselor, minister, doctor??? ) Journaling is also an effective way 2 "blow off steam" & C things from a different angle. Things WILL change eventually- "life", by it's very nature, is constantly in flux. *If nothing else, "graduation" will broaden your horizons & open doors U wouldn't believe possible. Hang N there <3

hey hey please dont kill yourself if you ever need to talk message me at loverofsomethings@yahoo.com please come and talk to me

hey hey please dont kill yourself if you ever need to talk message me at loverofsomethings@yahoo.com please come and talk to me

Let us know how you get on. Good luck~ I know its not an easy decision to make!

I'm thinking about seeing a doctor because it's not something I can work out in my head<br />
<br />
indeed I think that this is the problem, that there is somethign wrong with the way I think, or something, im not sure but I hate feeling like crap and not knowing why.<br />
<br />
I'll see a doctor soon I think...

Whether you feel 'ready' to see a doctor or not, you *need* to see one. If there's something 'wrong' with you, even inside your head or heart, there is absolutely *NO* shame at all in getting help.

At least I know there's people who know how it feels...

i'm so sorry<br />
i feel your pain<br />
literally.

Hang in there........life is worth living...I know it dishes out crap too.Its a hugely difficult time being a teenager.Please see someone ...you got a school nurse? They should be trained to help deal with such stuff....or help point you in the right direction.<br />
((HUG))