}, : Heartbroken

everyone in my family says im bitter but im just hurt and no one around me is willing to hear me out when i was little probably until i was 8 yr old i had no friends and my only friends were my mom and my brothers and my parent had to make them hang around me because the didnt want to be around me no one really did any as they got older they started dating i hated their girlfriends and i started to hate them 2 they never spent time with me and i was too young to out by my self and i was home schooled for a while because i was depressed and being bullied my mom was my only friend in the world and she knew how i felt and i start growing getting a shape to my body im black so i am very shapey lol no harm intended and getting prettier got some friends and started going out then they became caring but i became more heartless so my mother would say . but i guess i just want them to feel like i felt they kicked me when i was down and didnt help me up they dont deserve my kindness my love or my respect but now my mom and uncles and aunts grandparents are mad because of how i treat them but they dont understand that they didnt want to be around me at my worst the dont deserve my best and all i ever wanted was a good health friendship with them but they thought they were to cool to hang around geeky little sister but it wasnt like i ask to hang around in front of their friends just in the house
thekerahaan thekerahaan
18-21, F
3 Responses Sep 11, 2012

look dear.......... now m not much like u.................... want 2 know the reason????????<br />
That's coz I've realize that what family is m almost 26 working professional, when I was a kid I was like u alone, feared I was kinda filthy........... I didn't had any friends that time my father was very strict you will not believe that I gone 4 a SCHOOL PICNIC only once in my whole life, my parents never let me out, I use 2 wonder why is this happening 2 me I used 2 be jealous of others coz I use 2 saw them enjoying their life having fun and on the other hand I was alone.<br />
So I started hating my family, like u said that u have friends in ur family you use 2 hang out with them...... But I ain't get a **** no 1 was my friend not even ma family..... So, just think of me 4 once what will I become after when I'll grow-up????<br />
I left ma home n I ran away.... when I was in class 10, I was a kid then n in school I made some friends.... they came 2 me coz I was a gud student I was gud in explaining things I used 2 sing n they just love 2 be around me........... n that was sumthing which I've earned no1 gave that 2 me.....So, I became very proudy at that time..... I met a gal n I was quite in love with her we spent some time together n after somedays her father got a transfer n they gone where I don't know yet.......... I became a smoker drinker really I was ruined I destroyed everything my ambition my life everything............ n 1 thing u must know that no 1 helped me not a single friend though I had helped them my whole life Physically, Mentally & even Financially........... But in return I didn't got a ****.........<br />
Well that is my past............. The only thing which helped me is ma family........ I realize that why my father never let me out...... coz he was worried bout me he loves me........ <br />
I lost my everything 2 know that or 2 realize that but if u take my suggestion I hope will save yours...<br />
n I will be happy that atleast I have saved 1 life from gettin ruined........<br />
Dear m ur elder I have my own experience n that's y m able 2 understand ur feeling I know it'll be very hard 4 u 2 except that but 1 day u will realize that m wasn't wrong....... <br />
I always wanted 2 be an Engineer, well I didn't became that but now I am a Co-ordinator in a college of Engineering & Management......<br />
M not very much happy vit my life but the truth is m alive n well............ n that's only because of my family....... n I love them.......... n u also better start loving them............ Gud luck...!!!

Its difficult to understand how you feel, but I can only suggest, changing your attitude, talk to them, make conversations with them, get to know what they are thinking and how you can help, its a challenge I get that, but it would help you out a lot, you friends and family care for you, I'm sure but you need to take the first step in getting back in touch with them and smiling helps a lot.

M truly agreed vit u......

please talk to me anyone please

If u need someone 2 talk u can send me a post........... I hope I'll be there.....