I Suddenly Discovered I'm Alone And Am Depressed About It.

Recent years have been very unkind to me. 6 years ago i remember my mom saying to me that there only four of us in this world: me, her my grandma and our cat. she said it when she was going through divorce with my dad, who, to be honest, isn't a good person at all. and starting from then my life has been falling apart. I was 22 then and i discovered i was pregnant so i made an abortion because i wasn't ready to be a mom, in a year my mom was diagnosed with cancer a year later my grandma was diagnosed with cancer, in 5 moths she died, in 2 horrible years my mother passed away. i cannot even describe my feelings. it felt like some kind of natural disaster, like I don't have home any more, like I had been a part of something big and now it's all gone. like the world i'd lived in exploded. only people who went through the same thing know what i'm talking about. and the cat died too.

You know this is the first time I talk about it and i still cannot believe i survived all that. thank god i had my boyfriend at that time otherwise i would have killed myself. you know sometimes people say that they would never could go through smth. oh believe me they could. in this kind of situations you just don't think how bad it is you just do what you should. it's only later you come to realise what happed and that's when it is reeeeally hard.

But that's not all. At work a I have a *****-boss and it also causes a lot of stress. I just don't wanna go into details. And to top it all my bf moved out 3 weeks ago. and that was the last straw. I just lied on the floor and cried for hours. that is when I discovered I have no friends. nobody to talk to. and you wanna know why he moved out? because i started talking about marrying. in a nutshell, he said i need to prove to him I am the one he should marry and I need to prove that I would be a good mother to his children. and that is after 8,5 years we've been together.

I am hopping my life will take a turn for better someday. I know that I should do smth to make it happen. that is why I decided to start by sharing my story.
eleanor123 eleanor123
26-30, F
2 Responses Sep 19, 2012

Life might feel pointless sometimes, but you can't let yourself get wrapped up in others and sadness. Remember that one man over two thousand years ago died for people like you. He died because He was persecuted like you are, for the meek shall inherit the earth. Whatever's happening, just remember that it could get worse lol and it could also get much better. If your boyfriend wanted to leave because you were talking about commitment, then he might not have been worth keeping, no matter how much he meant. Someone who really loves you loves you for all of you. Not just certain parts. Please, remember that someone needs you to live no matter how bad it sounds. Trust me, I know, I'm depressed too XD

Im sure it will turn around...its what u make of it..u just need a ear to lean..someone to tell u it will work out...and it will if u need to talk feel free to im or email...it will work out.