I'm Going To Be Rich! I Should Be On Top Of The World, But I'm Dying Inside.

 

I apear to be a perfectly normal, functional member of society. I've been fortunate my whole life. Which basically means; I was born into a "well off" family. My parents were both professional people. We're not talking Warren Buffet class, but certainly MUCH HIGHER that what is now commonly referred to as "Main Street."
I never was concerned about money. I always knew if I got in a bind, my parents would bail me out. I'm not a screw up. I haven't had too many bailouts but it was always just understood I had resources at my disposal.

I'm NO DUMBY! I consider myself to be one of the smartest people I know. Not the most driven or ambitious! I could do so much more but I'm stuck.

My problem is I over analyze everything to the point that it's hard to find "meaning" in the mundane shackles of conformity and structure.

I honestly pity but have the utmost respect for the "average" working person.
I see my freinds and tenants just taking whatever they can find. Dreams are miracles. I'd say maybe 10% of the people I know actually like there job. I don't know anyone who actually "followed their dream." It's a fallacy!
They have to say that so people don't give up but it's not reality. The bills need to get paid. Someone has to do the jobs the top 5% provide to further increase their wealth. I didn't create the system but that's how I see it. And it is NOT FAIR AT ALL!

Well now, after years of working for the family real estate business. "Owning and Managing" our own (ever expanding) properties. Not sales, no offense.:)
Here's the KICKER! Only through sheer luck and happen stance. We find out that one of our large agricultaral plots is sitting "above" 10's of MILLIONS of DOLLAR'S of minable products.
Without getting into the "enviornmental" arguement. I know both sides well.
Let's just say, we're now in the "new" energy gold rush for natural gas. (Not exactly Frac Mining, but within the same industry).
Whatever your feeling is on the process I respect, but I'm not writing about that. I'm writing this for ME!
I'm lost, lonely, unispired and desperate! I honestly don't care that much? Sure I'll never have to work again but then what? Sit around and fester over my inner turmoil?
I need to talk to someone. I have plenty of friends, not the closest family but they're there. But I have no one "close" to me. No confidantes.
I hate what I've become. Lazy, unmotivated and just unhappy. WHY?

I don't know what to do? I don't know if ANYONE out there can EVEN relate?

I need to find direction. I've lost my WILL and yet I have everything anyone could hope for.
I am sorry for the masses. Frankly I don't deserve this gift. I'm not going to give it away though. I'm not that screwed up. Certainly charities will be donated to and whatever else I deem worthy, but I'm still getting my share.:)

I'm not activly looking for love. This is not an invitation to try and find a Sugar Daddy. I'm way too smart and I'm way to lost. I just want someone to help me find direction.

I used to love life so much. I don't know what happened. Can anyone help?
 

TatemaeVsHonne TatemaeVsHonne
36-40, M
2 Responses Sep 21, 2012

Hello normal, functioning member of society. If I may, I have a few words that could be encouraging and shed some needed light on your predicament. Be assured, you are not the only one, I myself have never had boundless resources at my disposal, but I do know that many wealthy and seem to have it all people are very unhappy and do feel useless and without purpose, some even going to the extreme of ending their own lives, sad to say. However reality does show that we will find people in this mental state wether they are on the highest economic rung of life or the bottom. My take on your situation based on the little I have to interpret, is that you have gone down a professional road that was paved for you, nothing wrong with that, it was a road of sucess and you are of course without the worries that most of your fellow humans have--basic needs. Luck and the hard work of those before you has benefited you. Great, now, you, as a normal person, rich or poor must live with a mental state that needs maintenance, as we all do, some of us need alot, some a little, for most it will be here and there at the crossroads of our lives. The maintenance I'm speaking of is self awareness and self assessment. Ask yourself a few questions, and you must be honest with yourself, sometimes this is the first hurdle of self awareness, knowing who you are, what makes you smile, what gives you the feeling of elation, satisfaction, gratification, what makes your eyes light up, what changes your mental state/attitude immediately? Most of us find these things with common struggles and the maturation process which can be stunted some when needs and maybe beyond needs are taken care of for us. Whatever these things are you need to do them more. It will allow more positive chemical production, this in turn can greatly balance every moment of the day, subtracting some of the negative feelings you have. Positive will begat positive, it helps with clarity, focus and the desire to go forward, you need things to look forward to.
Our brains are who we are, horomones/chemicals run our lives, when our bodies produce hormones/chemicals that produce a positive feeling then that is what we will feel, when our body produces what makes us feel down or negative then that is what we will feel. I have to say I have met people in the worst of circumstances---poor, struggling to survive people and some have been the happiest people I have encountered even though they may live in the most desperate of circumstances. The only reasoning there really seems to be is just nature, more positive chemical production and less bad. Take your metal state into your own hands, bring more positive to your life. My intuition tells me you have perhaps had these concerns for a while, maybe years. I do not like to suggest medication to people but it is an option as well. Counceling with a trained mental health professional could be helpful too. You're a smart guy, take action for change. You did mention that you used to be happy, I wish you happiness again, it is available to all of us, for some it is easier. For others it may be a bit of work, I am speaking from experience, I am a person who has to assess my mental health often, I have found as I get older anything I feel seems more pronounced and apparent. I have had to learn that there are times when I need to be responsible for my mental attitude and take action. I know at this point what makes me smile and what can change my attitude quickly so I don't spiral to a place that can be dark. I work daily to be as close to the light as possible! You are the only one who can answer the question, what brings you light? Sorry for writing a book, if there is a shred of anything in my post that can help it was worth it. Thank you for listening---PH

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful. I find that helping others makes me feel better. I came from a poor background but from hard work and some luck my family and I have done well for ourselves. You sound guilty for having nice things you have nothing to justify or feel bad about. I love money, but more importantly I have to love my surroundings more. I am one of those people pursuiting my love. I ended a potential career in teaching to do it. It may not involve as much money as what you have but I feel happy about the change.

What do you like to do. You are in such a great position to use this money for doing what you love. If you have nothing that gets you excited go on a proper trip and just try to see the good in things. I found travelling gave me so much inspiration to what I wanted to do with my life.

But unfortunately being happy is actually a full time job. You actually need to work on it. I know, I grew up in misery and just had to look on the bright side and it made me stronger.

Be careful of giving you're money away. Time is more precious and people appreciate it more.

I'm sorry I sound like some monk. I came on here feeling a bit down and feeling completely overwhelmed with my life. I am by no means can say I am un happy with everything in my life but even though things are going in the right direction every day is such a drain. I just try to spend everyday humouring myself regardless of what everyone thinks and I find the days go by better.