I Need A Friend

I really could use a friend right now... I have been married for 18 years, and yes we have had our issues but we have always made it... But recently things he does kill me, Friday I found out he had been talking to a woman he meet online for a few weeks.. Mostly.innocent but he complained about our marriage.. Said I ignored him.. Maybe I do but you just get comfortable after that long, we have 4 kids, he works and is in school, I am in school.. Life gets in the way... Anyway we got in a huge fight, and basically he blamed me for actions he admitted was wrong of him to do... I feel hurt and betrayed, unloved... And what's worse is that if I want him to stay and work on our marriage I am not allowed to speak of it... We set an appointment for counseling, but how will that work if we can't talk about it. He has anger issues and he says he is trying, but I don't see it...I just want to know how to fix something I did not know was broken.
Deadpixels Deadpixels
2 Responses Sep 25, 2012

I'm here and I hear you. It gets hard. being married so long. I feel like I am only visible if someone wants something. We have been married 20 year, have 4 kids and co-exist reasonably peacefully. I don't think it would surprise me to find he had an affair from strictly a physical stand point, but from a moral stand point I would be shocked. Its like we both believe in forever, but neither of us are happy.

I learned the hard way that rules placed in a marriage can be the downfall. If you can't talk about it you will never get past it. You may need to talk about it in a place that is safe for you, like a personal counseling session, instead of in a couples session.