My Life Story Exciting And Sad

im 18 years old male and i feel weird idk if its depression or what but, i think letting my life story out will be alot easier for me , well when i was a kid my dad had our door kicked in my federal agents almost once a month so i never did get any good sleep between them coming in my house in the middle of the night or my dad beating the snot out of my mom , she was always to busy trying to make him happy , so i just ran the streets of st louis 24/7 , well he finally left with my aunt and seen him every once and a while but he was never really around anyways, me and my mom and my 2 little brothers became broke so now my mom worked 24/7 and i ran the streets again well she rekindled a highschool love which she is with now , so she moved us up to the middle of iowa when i was 14 and got real depressed my mom didnt know how to handle me so she sent me with my grandparents in st louis, which didnt care about any thing but there money. so i was on my own again. a year went buy and she kicked me out for dropping a grain of rice on her kitchen floor so with no where to go my dad had to move from florida to get an apartment in st louis so i can stay with him. about a year went buy and things were alright considering the fact that my dads a complete you know what, well i was out hanging with my friends one night and they brought these girls over and as soon as she walked in she was the most beautiful thing ive ever seen i was about 15 now , we went out on a couple dates and before you know it i couldnt leave her side and she coudnt leave mine i shared every thing with her that i share with you now , the only person in my life that i ever could talk to. well we were together for about 2 1/2 years completly in love well i got kicked out of highschool my junior year for protecting her from some pig guy . well i finished out my junior year in a juevinile school. than my dad decided one day to just pack up and move us to florida where he loved it. of course me and andreja tried to stay together but i knew it was better for her and me for her to live her life, i went on with my senior year of highschool by myselfe stuck in a trailer with my sycotice dad 24/7 always getting yelled at and called a punk etc. with no one to evan hang out with i was a ghost.than a couple months go by and i strt boxing again , ive been boxing on and off since i was 13 , well everything was going smoothly and my dad said that we had to move back to st louis because we didnt have money , so we move back and the first thing i do is run back to andreja happily , well she was in love with another guy and i knew him i didnt object i stayed out of the way because i knew he would take care of her and protect her. well a couple days after we get back my dad packs up and moves back to florida leaving me with no where to go, i realize now he obviously just wanted to get rid of me. my uncle joey took me in which hes a good guy but hes got a meth problem so i went to school and hung out with my friends and had a good time. couple months go by and my dad shows up out of no where and said that i had to go with him back down to florida. i had to go because for you guys to know if you object to my dad he ends up beating you up breaking fingers and just bad stuff. so i went and got back into boxing and stuff again , well one day at school some guy said somthing to me and we got into it pretty good, im actually going to court soon for the felony battery. well i spent the rest of my senior year in a juevinile school. i graduated and turned 18 and ran back to st louis. i had my own apartment above my grandmas store which me and my friend rented . well months go by and my dad shows up and starts up his motorcyle shop again which is under my apartment and in the back of my grandmothers store .and the present is about 6 months from that point and alot of bad stuff went on that i cant say but now i think im going federal prison for somthing my family was doing , and they threw it on me and on the streets im played out for snitching my family and other people out which i never would do. but now people want to kill me beat me up or whatever too, so i just dont know what to do with my life now :( i stay up thinking for hours every night about my big brother thats from another mother doing 15 years in prison , and andreja <3 and just what im going to do :(, my dad acts like he cares but hes an *** and really just doesnt want to go to prison. , my mom and her family in iowa think im some tattooed **** up and look down on me. my brothers are good thats the only good thing i got out of my life i guess my mom ****** up with me and learned how to raise a kid , because my brothers are saints which i am gratful for, which is a big part of they were babys when the my dad was around and all that other stuff. :/ my mom says alot that shes sorry for sending me away and that i ended up with dad for years. but if i ask to move in to get my act together she wont let me:/ andreja i dont think loves me anymore which as long as shes happy its ok, but some nights i want to call her up and tell her how i feel but i never do. if i could change my life i would i wish i could of grown up in a nice place with no trouble no shootings no danger. got to school get into a sport may b play that sport in college and fall in love with a nice smart beautiful girl. which im not a bad guy i might have tattoos and have a rough exterior tough guy look, but i love reading books and my favorite show is buffy the vampire slayer lol im always interested in learning new stuff and i am attracted to girls with glasses and i guess you would say "nerdy" girls , but they never get to know me they never give it a second to think about may im different then i play off. :( no one knows what ive been through and every one in my family acts like they do when they werent there. i never show my emotions . if youve met me in real life you would never think theres somthing wrong but behind the curtain is a different story. the only person in my life that knows just the child hood part of me is my mom and she knows im messed up from it. ive never shared this because i dont want to burdin any one with my problems when kids are going through way more than me than i feel even worse for feeling worse in the first place . thats my life story up to this point . hopefully its gets better and i really hope it does i dont want this life:(
idk5050 idk5050
18-21, M
Nov 26, 2012