I Love Deeply People That Never Love Back

As for background information I am a 17 year old christian man. I am a senior in high-school and have never had even the slightest of luck where love is considered both concerning friendships and friendships that I would like to surpass that mere description that a friend obtains. I have had simple poor luck when I have been approached by the seemingly falsehood that is friendship as I have had 4 best friends through my last 6 years of living and each and every one of them has moved to another city and communication has died thoroughly to each aside from the slight remnants of a man that closely became my brother last year who moved to Mississippi. I have further not found a woman to meet my insatiable hunger for love. I do not wish for physical love but I do desire the love of someone whom I could share my life with, one that would eliminate my thorough emotion of loneliness, a constant in my life's equation to date. I have loved only few and they each have laughed at the thought of my possession of such love. I have found no success in pursuing any woman to this date and have recent proof of such failure. I asked simply if she liked me and as any would have guessed she refused to give that love any slant of an eye. I guess what I am posting in this passage is that I have no idea what to do. I am thoroughly lost on what action I should take because the pain of rejection is nearly as strong as the death of my father who passed nearly 2 years ago. I am wretched to an incredible extent so far to where prayer only slightly satisfies my desire for guidance. I don't know whether to maintain the intense falsity that would be friendship with the woman that captures the near essence of perfection or if I should writhe in pain as I watch love walk past my path every single passing day till the pain decides itself to pass to another sure failure. Many say that patience is of virtue but that answer does not near end the current pain that I feel. I bare the full symptoms of depression and regardless of the aspiration to leave such a jealous pain and love behind I can not leave the emotion at bay. I have tried several times over to make the conscious decision to turn my head from love's thorn yet am pressed exquisitely from an alternate source that is the overbearing pressure of love, and honest love at that, to feel unending pain. I here am asking for help on how to get through one of the most difficult times of my life where loneliness and inner pain are concerned.
des1957 des1957
18-21, M
4 Responses Nov 27, 2012

Know that this is now somewhat outdated, yes, however I still now cannot resist the necessity to consume a large portion of emotion when I talk or even see her. I don't even want to like her or feel any emotion, but she is so lavishly beautiful and sweet, I cannot withhold sadness from sparking. I think it's her eyes...

You write very nicely! It was captivating!

Your insatiable hunger for love? You've got lots of time ahead of you for that darlin. That girl that didn't care about how you felt, bet she wasn't good enough for you anyway!

I'm sorry to hear about your father.

Hey, You just have to wait, the right one will come one day... U don't have to rush into thing your still young and have a bright future ahead of you I'm sure of that...as for friends... Try to make new ones..friends that will love you for who you are

Dear des1957 ,
first of all I apologise for my English. I'm not from an Englsih speaking country.
I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can say that I understand. And that I do not want you to give up. I believe in love. I know that it's painful and you shouldn't go through this pain. So I am sugguesting to you that I would like to help you as best I can.
Write to me if you are interested in writing with me. I have so much I would like to talk about with you. It was an honor to just hear from a person that is able to love the way you do. It's rear and very precious.