Tierd, Depressed And Lonely..

Hi. This is the first I've spoken out I've been reading a lot of stories and been touched by some of others response. I'm 28yrs old with 2 kids, currently with my partner but at the moment things are tough an I have got no friends or anyone to talk to. I bottle up
So much issues and things that are hurting me.. problems with my partner and family and myself, at night I will always cry my self to bed sometimes while I'm cleaning out of the blue I will burst in to tears I've blocked out the world which left me with no friends I have no one but my kids. There's things I'm not happy about with my partner but I'm afraid if I speak up he will leave me, I'm scared to be on my own with my kids an so I go through the day pretending I'm happy. I can't talk to my family cos I know they will judge him an put me down more they expect me to be.perfect and should be with someone that's perfect so I don't tell them any problems and pretend my life is good and I'm happy.. to them I never do anything right so I keep everything to myself, when I'm with my family they don't realize I'm crying inside there's just so much I want to bring out but am afraid of causing trouble, I get really lonely at home my partner seems to only worry about his job an wen he gets home he don't talk to me unless, its about his work and its hard Cos he's basically the only friend I have the only one I talk to he don't give me any affection or seem to pay attention to me so I talk to myself or my kids. I'm not ready to open up exactly what problems I'm bottling inside but would appreciate someone to talk to. I don't know if I've made sense in what I wrote
As I've never spoken out before I've got so much but don't know where to start
jolenez jolenez
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 3, 2012

Hey you need to worry..........atleast you have someone to share with.....your kids,i can understand very well..you know we women are very strong ...its just we dont realize it and we are always told the fac that men are stronger in every sense,in everyway...looka bigger picture a better picture...see yourself and your two beautiful kids...remove your husband from that picture ,if you want to replace it with some one ,just dont wait to do but if you want that empty space to be empty...let it be..just add few other couple of people in that picture like your friends

I feel your pain about the entire bottling up motion, for I am also having the same problem, but for a different reason. For you, it sounds like a big issue you are having with your partner, for if you are unable to tell him how you feel for the precaution of him leaving, it must be serious. You could maybe write him a letter, going slowly into details and how it affects you. I personally have not tried this exercise, but it is a common suggestion. I hope this helps and I hope you resolve your problem!